I started and finished the demo today. It's incredible! I feel so connected to these characters, and find myself tearing up at the emotional interactions between Oswin and MC. Wondering why it is he has become distant from her. Perhaps, he was so afraid to lose her because he feels so much for her, so to protect himself he distanced himself? That is my theory for now. I can't wait to see what you come up with next.
Just wanted to leave a comment about how much I really love your work!
I love how you give your characters depth without launching into index pages with 20 paragraphs of backstory nestled away in a link, within a link, within a link. In some other stories, the characters you interact with feel like they melt into the code when you stop talking to them, but I don't feel the same when I'm playing this IF.
I also love how you write about some heavier themes without being overly gratuitous, or needlessly explicit about certain details. Think it really helps some people who have bad experiences with those topics not settle into the scene too heavily, and at the same time, leave readers who don't share the same experiences with enough detail to interpret the scene accurately.
Lastly, I wanna say that I'm really sorry to hear about Shadow :( I already love story!Shadow to bits, and promise to love him forevermore. I think it's a lovely gesture to immortalise his memory in this IF!
All the best for the future chapters, and remember to take care of yourself while working on this amazing project :)
I am so glad you enjoyed the story and like my style. Your comments have really warmed my heart and given me an encouragement boost - these are the things I fret about. I wanted to do a heavier IF that wouldn't leave readers bereft at the same time - life is hard enough! I am hoping that those connections with the characters will carry both the reader and the MC through those difficult moments as we progress.
Thank you also for your condolences. Shadow was a one of a kind kitty, and sometimes I wondered if he was a little angry wizard trapped in a cat's body, lol. It seemed fitting that he travel my imaginary little world with an equally odd merchant for company. ^_^
I finish the demo today and for now i'm loving it so much!
I really like the form you write and the characters are very likeable, Oswin is so funny when you're playful with him, and Zhan is so sweet, I wanna take care of them (even if i'm a little cautious of them)
But in my top of characters for now are the MC parents, I love them so much, they feel so warm? Idk how to explain it, just they feel like home.
Also I love the mule, I have to try the others horses but for now my girl Epona is winning.
For resume, great job! I will waiting happy for more!^v^
And my condolences for you loss, I hope you and your husband get well soon
Thank you so much for the kind words, my friend! I am thrilled that you are attached to the MC fathers, and I think I know what you mean that they feel like home. There are more antics in store for Oswin and Zahn, so I hope you will enjoy them as they develop. I'm glad you used the name Epona! The Legend of Zelda is near and dear to my heart, so it's only fair to have a faithful friend like her to guide you! ^_^
It seems I have regained my love for IF's after reading this one (as I typically avoid WiPs for fear of discontinuation). The characters have captured my attention and I actually care about what happens to them. The parents are so endearing, I particularly like the dynamic that you set up for them. ALSO YES, finally, gay dads. I would die for them.
The RO's typically bore me in other books, but you managed to make my cold frigid heart FEEL with this one. I love the background that you gave them, it got me emotionally invested. I know we haven't been introduced to the rest, but as it stands, I would also die for Zahn and Oswin.
The story itself is interesting, though I'm not gonna lie it reminds me a little bit of 13Leagues' ToA, which is also another IF that I absolutely adore (with the similar theme of the MC's death-curse and the involvement of gods). I absolutely love your writing and your work is at my "most awaited" list. Thank you so much for creating this world and sharing it to the rest of us. It has been a joy.
May Shadow live on in your work, I would like to see more of the little guy in the story. I hope things are well!
That is beyond awesome to me, my dear! I know that feeling, those discontinuation woes. I keep shoving mine in a closet marked with caution tape, lol. All the more reason, I do not want to let you or any other IF lover down.
I am thrilled that you've taken a shine to the family and friends I've made for the MC and the world. I have read Superstition (every season like 7 times) from 13Leagues, but believe it or not, I haven't read ToA yet! It's on the ever-growing list of things for me to catch up on. Maybe I will hold off just in case, I don't want to be under the influence while I'm writing, lol.
You've made me giddy with delight at your kind words, my friend. I am also hoping to wiggle in my favorite kitty cat as much as possible. He'll be there to demand to be held and get fur on your clothes. Thank you for reading! ^_^
I really enjoyed the story! It's so well written and you can clearly see that your choices do matter. Wish the author a lot of motivation and time to write. Looking forward to more!
I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much; I am hoping to really make those choices shine through the story. It gets a bit taxing but it's still so much fun to add those flavors. ^_^
I'm elated that you loved it! I'm working on a small update to chapter 3 as we speak. Just a few extra optional moments, nothing major, and some fixes of course. ^_^
LOL, I am glad I could get a cackle from you, my dear! That's a long-standing joke for me. I have used that name while reading other IFs for a laugh, and it drives my bestie insane. If you're adventurous to choose that as your MC's name, there will be some extra flavor-text here and there. Is it worth naming your character after pasta though? Debatable.
I'm glad you love it! And I'm excited to bring you more! ^_^
Gods I loved this story so much, living with a chronic illness made me relate so much to the MC and really enjoy to the point of tearing up multiple times
It was quite funny to pick the mule as mount and name her "Yarrow" after a certain RO I'm totally pinning now, I'm weak to childhood friends to lovers
Thank you! I am glad you are loving it and that you were moved (not that I'm dancing in your tears or anything)! I hope that as the story progresses you feel a strength and hope through your resonance with the MC. ^_^
My spouse play-tested this for me and chose the mule as well so he could, "travel with his two asses." Cracked me up so much that I am trying to work that line in for the MC to say at some point, lol. I try not to favor the mounts, but mule has a special flair.
Thank you so much, my friend. I really appreciate your kind words and I am happy that you are loving the story! (your username has sparked joy, by the way, lol) ^_^
Aaaahh, this new update is everything I've wanted: more time with Oswin and reaffirming of their friendship (my MC has feelings for him). Also Zahn is so perceptive and sweet, a good but surprising combo! Nathaniel and Oswin 😌👌🏻 so funny Nathan thought that, Oswin is fun to tease i geddit.
I'm thrilled that you're enjoying it! Zahn is a whole new world for me to write, I haven't made characters quite like them before. They're craftier than most would give them credit for, but super loving. And Nathan is that stray cat that keeps walking the line of the fence to irritate the dog (Oswin) lol. Finding ways to irritate our poor swordsman is fueling my life.
okay i havent read the story yet but after reading some comments concerning male player being called beautiful i gotta say this; if someone calls me beautiful when im masc presenting id instantly get them a bff bracelet and name my first born after them lmaooo
also my ex- a sportbike rider with beard covering half of his face -literally giggled and was absolutely giddy for a whole night after i called him beautiful :" he also looks gewd in pink and jasmine is his favorite flower :D
so yeah besties pls dont let old stereotypes cage you in <3 beautiful is merely an adjective not some spell to instantly turn your balls into vajayjay lmaoooooo <333
Yes! Thank you, my friend! That is how I feel about it. These words just mean what they mean, they're not gendered! ^_^ Very well said, lol! You've made my day!
*Also, totally squealing over your profile pic - speaking of beautiful! Cove <3
Thank you for this. Although I hope I was not misunderstood. If you enjoy being called beautiful thats great. Nothing wrong with that. I do struggle some with some of the old stereotypes I was raised around. But I also was never good at being a conformer regardless of before or after came out as trans. Nor do I feel like people should be pushed to conform.
Let people be themselves, like what they like. But I hope that also goes for people like myself who like anyone has aspects that could fit any of the labels, even if I consider myself more masc leaning in many areas. But would prefer being called handsome, or rugged, etc lol Not that I would be unfortunately in rl. Not in my current condition anyways.
Anyways writer has right to write it how they wish. I may not have understood what they meant with it at first but I do now. It may not be my preference for character appearance but it's a good story and there is a lot they do that others don't even consider. I was pleasantly surprised when read though it the first time as far as the majority of it. I look forward to seeing more.
Absolutely, your wants and needs for who you are are completely valid. We are all just people and different things will call out to us all. I wouldn't want to push my own preferences on to you. I appreciate you sharing this part of yourself with me. I am glad you're here and I cannot wait for you to experience more of this story. ^_^
This is the family I wish I had, reading scenes with Da or Pa healed a little piece of my soul. I do find it funny that I named my MC Ravi because I found it more fitting for him than the full name so when Oswin accidentally said Ravi it was just his name- XD
I am so glad our new dads can do that for you! Part of why I wanted to write in good parents was because I didn't really have that myself and IFs have plenty of...difficult parents. So it's been healing on my end as well! You are the first other than my own spouse to tell me that they used the name Ravi! I literally thought 'nah, no one will want to use that...' jokes on me, my own spouse betrays my thinking! He was one of my two play-tester/proof-readers and even warned me about that bit with the name. I totally forgot to fix it before making the story public! It'll be adjusted in the next update, though, so no worries there! ^_^
Ah! I'm so happy you enjoyed it! I'm plugging away at chapter 3 right now. Fingers crossed it will be out by the end of the month for the Amare Games Festival! ^_^
Feels like this was written for female MCs in mind, no women characters who are important in their early life, they're all men, and the MC shy about their chest. Called beautiful no matter your characters gender, also Oswin hugging me while I'm naked, and forced to go with him and think about him all the time?
You are entitled to think they way you choose, but as such, I am entitled and compelled to tell you why I disagree with your assessment and even take offense to it. Apologies if it's long, but I'm not going to sit back and let it slide.
It's ignorant. You do not have to like this story, that is a-ok with me, but don't make assumptions based on your own projections of what you think is happening. You are clearly searching for bias.
We are two chapters in (for a work-in-progress demo) and literally the only RO introduced yet is a man because I wasn't going to force every RO into 1 chapter. And, no, this was not written for female MCs exclusively. I take personal offense to such drivel as I am an a-gendered writer who uses she/her pronouns to simplify my personal life, but I identify as leaning more masculine. I play almost exclusively male MCs when I read IFs and I do not have any particular gender in mind while writing. Quite frankly, I believe that assigning genders to certain things like actions, clothing, or even speech is ridiculous - and it's on you as the reader if you do such things. People should just BE so that is how I write.
It might be you're projecting your assumptions onto what you're reading, we all tend to do that. Just because women are not directly showcased in the early life of the MC means literally nothing, but you are assuming that it means something. There are supportive male characters up front NOT because of what you assume is for a female MC (which, also, I do not get why this equates to 'written for female MC'), but because I want there to be male characters in a story (like 2 dads and a soft-hearted bestie) that allow for men to just be what they want without fitting a particular niche in literature (like a big strong bear of a man that cries openly or another man who hunts and fishes but also cares if his throw pillows match his curtains). I've said this before, the MC "shy about their chest" applies to men too! Good grief, I know more men who are shy about their chests than the women I've met. I wasn't going to write that and assume "just because man, means they are just not shy about anything north of the border." I'm also writing for 3 gender selections and it is better to just error on caution and not have to ham-fist programming in for something so benign.
If you read the list of warnings, it specifically says that this is not written with touch-aversion in mind. If your MC does not like the hug, then consider that Oswin simply reacted, you know, like humans tend to do - without thinking. I am not out to write these characters as inhumanly as possible and make everything perfect - it is not possible to account for every single thing that people will not like - hence the warning that there are limited instances where the MC can choose for or against a touch. If you feel "forced to think about him all the time" consider that maybe you are doing that to yourself? He's the only one introduced so far and is literally the path to the other parts of the story, so yeah, your MC is "forced to go with him." He plays a huge role in getting the MC from A to B. And again, 2 chapters.
Lunan, thank you for saying everything that I wanted to. I never got the feeling that it was geared towards women, and I play as a guy. I really enjoy this story, and I'm eager to see where you wanna take this adventure. :)
I agree with YellowYello's point, since I also play as a guy and didn't find it geared to any specific gender. I am am especially big fan of a-gendered IFs. Although there's plenty of good IFs out there who aren't which is okay. Anyways I just wanted to say I'm very much enjoying the story. Keep up the good work Lunan!
Thank you, my dear! I really appreciate that you are enjoying the adventure. I didn't set out to do this for any particular gender, and like you, I enjoy IFs regardless of who they may have in mind, if anyone, when they were written. My goal is to continuing making this story just enjoyable for what it is and for who I am as a human. ^_^
Question. Why is a male MC called beautiful (not handsom?) And why is he and others timid about his chest being shown? Or is that just because of the marking? Although feels a bit much for just that. Although outside of that and some odd habits don't have choice on, you have done better than a good number of Interactive stories out there in providing character personality options that fit masculine as well feminine and neutral. I appreciate that.
To many I've come across feel like they were written for only feminine or female characters in mind and expected a change of pronouns and a few words to be enough. Though I realize writing for interactive novels and for such a broad range must be a challenge. I appreciate the effort, and I still try my best to enjoy the stories anyways, despite the disorienting and sometimes immersion breaking moments that can come from that. Sometimes only happens inside same-sex romances. Anyways I run on to much. Hope don't take it wrong way. Have had that happen before and made me a bit afraid to comment to much. Really do appreciate the work you have done here. The two dads are awsome too. Thank you
Hello my friend, thanks for the questions and the comments! I appreciate your thoughts and I don't think you come across as negative or anything, your points are very thought-provoking and are good topics for the IF community.
The way I see things as I write at least is that beautiful doesn't just apply to women. I find some women handsome and others beautiful and the same goes for men. (*Also inferring that you're referencing the scene where MC has a little breakdown after their bath) *I know men (cis) that are quite bashful about their chests - but it can also be fore the marking - that whole scene is just a general point of weakness and vulnerability for the MC (and the MC is also completely nude from top to tail, save for the towel around their shoulders/back). I wanted to error on the bashful side of things.
I've debated about adding a few more choices in the first couple chapters to give readers a heavier hand in the MC's development, and in the future chapters I am trying to add as much variation as I can account for according to the variable values set by previous choices. It gets sticky for sure, but I'm hoping to get better at shaping as much as an individual experience as possible.
I appreciate that you're finding things to be mostly a-gendered (I use she/her, but I identify more ambiguously and often more masculine though the lens I was raised with was feminine). When I read IFs, I primarily have MCs that are men, but I also will play through as women too (just not as often), so I want to try to focus more on the personality/characteristic of the MC and not necessarily ascribe masculine or feminine to their choices. I honestly don't always notice gender-inflection while writing my IF, but I know it's probably there (and I'm oblivious sometimes >_<). The issue is that my interpretation of those things will differ, as you can already see. But, like all of us, it's a work in progress and I hope to refine it as much as I can for such a wide audience.
Your input is very much appreciated, and you've given me some things to think on as I work! ^_^ (Sorry for long reply, and I'm thrilled that you like the dads!)
Ah understand. Guess didn't think about it that way. Thank you for explaining. Also I was referring to the scene after with the Mage by the way. The Fathers turning around when he's just lifting his shirt. Towel thing was ambiguous enough to imagine it lower. Was pretty amusing too LOL Poor Oswin.
Anyways I don't usually put this in public, but I wonder if some misunderstandings in past could have been avoided if I had. I am trans-male myself. Might be part of reason I struggle with some of that to. Maybe I should be better than this, but I still struggle a little bit when it feels like something or someone is trying to push me into playing the old stereotyped feminine or female roles/ideas. Yet I love reading these interactive fiction stories. I don't have the energy to do freeform writen role-playing like I used to.(Nor do I know how to find a good community for it these days) So this has been my substitute I guess.
Oh, the scene with Ansar - I forgot about that happening *derp. I imagined that would be just a respect thing for any gender selection that the dads would do for their kid - error on the side of it being a bit personal. (Poor Oswin indeed; he's had it rough so far and it's not over, lol).
I think the world of interactive fiction has historically leaned more feminine, but we're seeing a trend - however gradual - that is leaning away from that. Perhaps not masculine, but maybe more a-gendered approach (though admittedly, I tend to have some trouble distinguishing sometimes and it's possible I interpret that because I really want to see it that way, lol). Not sure, but I do wonder if that stems from Otomes popularizing it in some way? The stereotypical never really worked for me either, and I want to always keep that in mind as I write. People should be able to just be, and that's what I hope to emulate in the worlds I create.
Thank you for sharing a part of yourself with me. I appreciate you reading and taking the time to give me thoughtful insights to broaden my scope for how I write this. ^_^
Just returned to check in on this and saw some of the comments you were facing. I wanted to apologize if this is a result of my questions and input possibly stirring something up in the community. I could be wrong on that but still. I never wanted to cause you grief if I did. I really appreciate the effort you have made.
I am aware I may be more sensitive on some things than others, and I try to be mindful of that. I was raised in an area with a lot of treditionally minded folk, and while I moved away from there years ago and recognize behaviors and interests should not be limited to genders. Nor do I fit those niches completely myself. I still haven't found a better way to explain things without using masculine, feminine, neutral for categories of grouped behaviors. Forgive me if some misunderstanding comes from that or if it is wrong. I don't know if it is. Also not sure how else to do it. Putting concepts into words can be difficult.
Also for people (not author) who want to assume and accuse me of being narrow-minded of phobic. I feel like I should be allowed to enjoy playing into some stereotypes as much as bending or breaking them. Without being dissed or accused of something I am not and is against my own moral code to be. (Has happened before). I am not saying I am without flaws but I do make effort to be better than that. If something comes off wrong. Talk to me so I know what I need to improve or in some cases clarify.
On another note. Look forward to checking out the update when I get the chance. Sorry got long-winded there.
No, no my dear. You are fine. I did not find your comments offensive, there was a person who was less than civil in the way they were expressing themselves. Your comment was more exploring and questioning, opening up a conversation. Once I explained my point of view, you were accepting and gracious. With the other person's comment, I felt attacked and judged more than anything.
Each mark adds a different flavor to the MC, but isn't like a path-changer or anything like that. The choice in mark kinda tags along with a bigger thing later in the story though. 😀
Thank you, my friend! I'm so thrilled you're loving it! I can't wait to get this whole story out there, it's burning a hole in me to not reveal all my secrets. >_<
God damn it the story is gonna make me cry, isn't it?It's so good but so God damn painful at the same time.I feel like I was the m c for a minute there
Not that I wish trauma upon you, but I am glad that you were so invested in it! If it's any consolation, I have cried a few times while writing it, lol. ^_^
Just to answer your question about the tw list, I glace through trigger warning lists to make sure none catch my attention, since I don't mind most warnings, but sometimes one grabs my attention that I don't agree with reading, or that I just am not in the right mood for. Generally, though, I read a wide net of IF's so not very often does the list make me turn away, more often just set them aside
I'm the same way. Sometimes, if I do find something off-putting, I just need to come back on another day when my mood is higher. For some of the bigger triggers, I'm hoping to give options to skip with an undetailed summary so it's still digestible even if someone is having a rough day. ^_^
i think off-screen death in (or shortly thereafter i guess? if we're being pedantic) childbirth might be a good one to add, it's quite a bit different from regular ol' death/manslaughter
I agree, I was thinking the same after a convo I had yesterday with someone on Tumblr that I need to add something that's more clear in that regard. You're right, it's still different enough that it needs to be mentioned.
this appears if i select the option to be submissive just bc i choose not to have a dick, even tho i selected masculine pronouns (which i thought would set my gender)
Yeah, that's definitely some language variation that I missed while writing that section. I'll correct that in my next update. Thanks for letting me know!
Well, get your tools ready, because he's got a few of those, and they're buried deep! 👨⚕️🔪
Thank you for the very kind (and just a tiny bit scary) comment; I'm so glad you're enjoying this and I can't wait to share more with you! As we speak, I'm doing some work on chapter 3! 😁
Thanks♡, being a tad unsettling is part of my charm. Your work may be 'God Cursed' but you are sure God blessed with the gift of writing! May all of us continue to enjoy patiently what you graciously shared☆
I WAS SO NERVOUS THROUGHOUT THE PLAYTHROUGH CAUSE I HALF EXPECTED MY CHARACTERS PARENTS TO DIE (i got attached almost instantly and i am on the brink of tears)
i feel like there's something more to grandmother's vanishing and oH YOUR WRITING i love it so. i. i am very emotionally attached and if anything happens to my character's fathers while they are gone author i WILL cry at you and flood your home.
also. why can't I get a cat huh. I want a cat. where was the option to pet the cat. why was there no option to pet the cats.
oh... world building.. i'm already invested and imm also. nervous. does the symbol that i chose change the story does it lock me into a path i am nervous but also excited. can't wait for more!
Pretty sure your comment has made my life, lol. Thank you so much, you've made ME tear up too!
My friend, you'll have to be sure in future chapters to take good care of your parents, now won't you ;) (*nervously buys flood insurance*)
The symbol you chose will flavor your story a bit. I have some ideas about it that I am working through, but as it stands now, that selection will sort of piggyback onto a different major - route altering - choice later in the story. (You may find out more about your grandmother later as well!)
Also, you are 100% right! Why on Earth did I not put in some kitty interaction!? I'm a cat-fanatic, what the hell is wrong with me? I will right this wrong in future updates! :3
I am so glad you loved it! Especially the nsfw bit lol. I felt the most self-conscious over that segment, and you've successfully boosted my confidence, friend! 🥰
the confidence boost is absolutely deserved, you did a really good job with it! i read a lot of interactive fiction (we love escapism in this house lol) and your nsfw scene execution is definitely in the top 10 of the list
not the main part i love about the story tho, obviously :p
This is absolutely fantastic!! I've been on a bit of an IF kick lately and I can say that this is without a doubt one of the most interesting games that I've run into recently - only a demo, too! I'm over here genuinely tweaking over how good the writing is... totally will be keeping an eye on the development for this, I'm hyped to see where it leads!
Oh, you've warmed the dark little corners of my heart this morning, my friend! Thank you so much for the kind words. I'll strive to keep you hyped in the future! <3
I wasn't originally going to, but I've been reconsidering it lately. In my next update, I'll probably add a small list of suggestions. Thank you for your input and I am glad you are liking it so far! :D
I cannot express how the great joyous emotions this IF has caused me. I'm fiending over your writing and also stunned at how early I am considering this is a newly posted game. I look forward to more! You're doing amazing!!! :D (ty for feeding us gremlins with this scrumptious writing)
The story is so well-written that I binged read it! This is really good for a demo. The characters felt so alive for me, especially MC's parents. They're so lovely! 💕
Ahhhh, thank you so much! Your kind words have fueled me this morning! I am so happy that you're enjoying it. I'm especially fond of the parents and had way too much fun writing them. ^_^
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I started and finished the demo today. It's incredible! I feel so connected to these characters, and find myself tearing up at the emotional interactions between Oswin and MC. Wondering why it is he has become distant from her. Perhaps, he was so afraid to lose her because he feels so much for her, so to protect himself he distanced himself? That is my theory for now. I can't wait to see what you come up with next.
The mini update with Oswin was adorable and I loved it!
I'm glad you loved it! It was fun to write too. It's good for Oswin to feel like a kid again sometimes. ^_^
Just wanted to leave a comment about how much I really love your work!
I love how you give your characters depth without launching into index pages with 20 paragraphs of backstory nestled away in a link, within a link, within a link. In some other stories, the characters you interact with feel like they melt into the code when you stop talking to them, but I don't feel the same when I'm playing this IF.
I also love how you write about some heavier themes without being overly gratuitous, or needlessly explicit about certain details. Think it really helps some people who have bad experiences with those topics not settle into the scene too heavily, and at the same time, leave readers who don't share the same experiences with enough detail to interpret the scene accurately.
Lastly, I wanna say that I'm really sorry to hear about Shadow :( I already love story!Shadow to bits, and promise to love him forevermore. I think it's a lovely gesture to immortalise his memory in this IF!
All the best for the future chapters, and remember to take care of yourself while working on this amazing project :)
I am so glad you enjoyed the story and like my style. Your comments have really warmed my heart and given me an encouragement boost - these are the things I fret about. I wanted to do a heavier IF that wouldn't leave readers bereft at the same time - life is hard enough! I am hoping that those connections with the characters will carry both the reader and the MC through those difficult moments as we progress.
Thank you also for your condolences. Shadow was a one of a kind kitty, and sometimes I wondered if he was a little angry wizard trapped in a cat's body, lol. It seemed fitting that he travel my imaginary little world with an equally odd merchant for company. ^_^
I finish the demo today and for now i'm loving it so much!
I really like the form you write and the characters are very likeable, Oswin is so funny when you're playful with him, and Zhan is so sweet, I wanna take care of them (even if i'm a little cautious of them)
But in my top of characters for now are the MC parents, I love them so much, they feel so warm? Idk how to explain it, just they feel like home.
Also I love the mule, I have to try the others horses but for now my girl Epona is winning.
For resume, great job! I will waiting happy for more!^v^
And my condolences for you loss, I hope you and your husband get well soon
Thank you so much for the kind words, my friend! I am thrilled that you are attached to the MC fathers, and I think I know what you mean that they feel like home. There are more antics in store for Oswin and Zahn, so I hope you will enjoy them as they develop. I'm glad you used the name Epona! The Legend of Zelda is near and dear to my heart, so it's only fair to have a faithful friend like her to guide you! ^_^
It seems I have regained my love for IF's after reading this one (as I typically avoid WiPs for fear of discontinuation). The characters have captured my attention and I actually care about what happens to them. The parents are so endearing, I particularly like the dynamic that you set up for them. ALSO YES, finally, gay dads. I would die for them.
The RO's typically bore me in other books, but you managed to make my cold frigid heart FEEL with this one. I love the background that you gave them, it got me emotionally invested. I know we haven't been introduced to the rest, but as it stands, I would also die for Zahn and Oswin.
The story itself is interesting, though I'm not gonna lie it reminds me a little bit of 13Leagues' ToA, which is also another IF that I absolutely adore (with the similar theme of the MC's death-curse and the involvement of gods). I absolutely love your writing and your work is at my "most awaited" list. Thank you so much for creating this world and sharing it to the rest of us. It has been a joy.
May Shadow live on in your work, I would like to see more of the little guy in the story. I hope things are well!
That is beyond awesome to me, my dear! I know that feeling, those discontinuation woes. I keep shoving mine in a closet marked with caution tape, lol. All the more reason, I do not want to let you or any other IF lover down.
I am thrilled that you've taken a shine to the family and friends I've made for the MC and the world. I have read Superstition (every season like 7 times) from 13Leagues, but believe it or not, I haven't read ToA yet! It's on the ever-growing list of things for me to catch up on. Maybe I will hold off just in case, I don't want to be under the influence while I'm writing, lol.
You've made me giddy with delight at your kind words, my friend. I am also hoping to wiggle in my favorite kitty cat as much as possible. He'll be there to demand to be held and get fur on your clothes. Thank you for reading! ^_^
I really enjoyed the story! It's so well written and you can clearly see that your choices do matter. Wish the author a lot of motivation and time to write. Looking forward to more!
I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much; I am hoping to really make those choices shine through the story. It gets a bit taxing but it's still so much fun to add those flavors. ^_^
I just finished playing through the demo and I'm so in love with the writting! I can't wait for more!! <33
I'm elated that you loved it! I'm working on a small update to chapter 3 as we speak. Just a few extra optional moments, nothing major, and some fixes of course. ^_^
I can't wait!!! <333
Please, I cackled! xD
-Noodles: "Noodles"
Anyway! I love the story! I am excited for more of this! <3
LOL, I am glad I could get a cackle from you, my dear! That's a long-standing joke for me. I have used that name while reading other IFs for a laugh, and it drives my bestie insane. If you're adventurous to choose that as your MC's name, there will be some extra flavor-text here and there. Is it worth naming your character after pasta though? Debatable.
I'm glad you love it! And I'm excited to bring you more! ^_^
10/10
No, you! 🥰
oswin PLEASE just let mc hug you. please i'm literally begging. you need a hug so bad. they need a hug so bad. its a win-win situation.
I agree! We'll get him softened up with time, and he'll be ripe for the hugging. ^_^
I love this story and the update was amazing! My condolences on your cat's passing 🫂
That's wonderful! I am glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for your kind words, that means a lot to me. ^_^
Gods I loved this story so much, living with a chronic illness made me relate so much to the MC and really enjoy to the point of tearing up multiple times
It was quite funny to pick the mule as mount and name her "Yarrow" after a certain RO I'm totally pinning now, I'm weak to childhood friends to lovers
Thank you! I am glad you are loving it and that you were moved (not that I'm dancing in your tears or anything)! I hope that as the story progresses you feel a strength and hope through your resonance with the MC. ^_^
My spouse play-tested this for me and chose the mule as well so he could, "travel with his two asses." Cracked me up so much that I am trying to work that line in for the MC to say at some point, lol. I try not to favor the mounts, but mule has a special flair.
I just finished reading the third chapter and in my opinion this is easily one of the best novels in this site. Keep up the good work!
Sweet fancy Moses, that is very high praise, my friend! I'm not sure I know how to respond to that, lol. Thank you so much! 🥹
I really love this story, and I'm so sorry to hear about your cat Shadow. Hope you and your husband are doing okay.
Thank you so much, my friend. I really appreciate your kind words and I am happy that you are loving the story! (your username has sparked joy, by the way, lol) ^_^
Ha ha thank you! I certainly thought I was being extremely clever with it when I was a kid.
I am very much an adult and I would argue it's still clever, lol.
Rare moment of brilliance on my part.
woah, don't know how i missed this until now, its really great so far!
I'm glad you found it, my dear! There's more fun things to come that I can't wait to share with you. ^_^
Aaaahh, this new update is everything I've wanted: more time with Oswin and reaffirming of their friendship (my MC has feelings for him). Also Zahn is so perceptive and sweet, a good but surprising combo! Nathaniel and Oswin 😌👌🏻 so funny Nathan thought that, Oswin is fun to tease i geddit.
I'm thrilled that you're enjoying it! Zahn is a whole new world for me to write, I haven't made characters quite like them before. They're craftier than most would give them credit for, but super loving. And Nathan is that stray cat that keeps walking the line of the fence to irritate the dog (Oswin) lol. Finding ways to irritate our poor swordsman is fueling my life.
The way your story has me so invested in it and the way you write the characters it's literally so beautiful /gen /pos
Thank you so much! I often fret about if I'm conveying their personalities well or not, this makes me feel more at ease about it! ^_^
okay i havent read the story yet but after reading some comments concerning male player being called beautiful i gotta say this; if someone calls me beautiful when im masc presenting id instantly get them a bff bracelet and name my first born after them lmaooo
also my ex- a sportbike rider with beard covering half of his face -literally giggled and was absolutely giddy for a whole night after i called him beautiful :" he also looks gewd in pink and jasmine is his favorite flower :D
so yeah besties pls dont let old stereotypes cage you in <3 beautiful is merely an adjective not some spell to instantly turn your balls into vajayjay lmaoooooo <333
Yes! Thank you, my friend! That is how I feel about it. These words just mean what they mean, they're not gendered! ^_^ Very well said, lol! You've made my day!
*Also, totally squealing over your profile pic - speaking of beautiful! Cove <3
Thank you for this. Although I hope I was not misunderstood. If you enjoy being called beautiful thats great. Nothing wrong with that. I do struggle some with some of the old stereotypes I was raised around. But I also was never good at being a conformer regardless of before or after came out as trans. Nor do I feel like people should be pushed to conform.
Let people be themselves, like what they like. But I hope that also goes for people like myself who like anyone has aspects that could fit any of the labels, even if I consider myself more masc leaning in many areas. But would prefer being called handsome, or rugged, etc lol Not that I would be unfortunately in rl. Not in my current condition anyways.
Anyways writer has right to write it how they wish. I may not have understood what they meant with it at first but I do now. It may not be my preference for character appearance but it's a good story and there is a lot they do that others don't even consider. I was pleasantly surprised when read though it the first time as far as the majority of it. I look forward to seeing more.
Absolutely, your wants and needs for who you are are completely valid. We are all just people and different things will call out to us all. I wouldn't want to push my own preferences on to you. I appreciate you sharing this part of yourself with me. I am glad you're here and I cannot wait for you to experience more of this story. ^_^
This is the family I wish I had, reading scenes with Da or Pa healed a little piece of my soul. I do find it funny that I named my MC Ravi because I found it more fitting for him than the full name so when Oswin accidentally said Ravi it was just his name- XD
I am so glad our new dads can do that for you! Part of why I wanted to write in good parents was because I didn't really have that myself and IFs have plenty of...difficult parents. So it's been healing on my end as well! You are the first other than my own spouse to tell me that they used the name Ravi! I literally thought 'nah, no one will want to use that...' jokes on me, my own spouse betrays my thinking! He was one of my two play-tester/proof-readers and even warned me about that bit with the name. I totally forgot to fix it before making the story public! It'll be adjusted in the next update, though, so no worries there! ^_^
THAT WAS THE DEMO??? THAT WAS SO GOOD OML,,,, I CAN´T WAIT FOR THE FULL GAME!!!! ^^
Ah! I'm so happy you enjoyed it! I'm plugging away at chapter 3 right now. Fingers crossed it will be out by the end of the month for the Amare Games Festival! ^_^
Feels like this was written for female MCs in mind, no women characters who are important in their early life, they're all men, and the MC shy about their chest. Called beautiful no matter your characters gender, also Oswin hugging me while I'm naked, and forced to go with him and think about him all the time?
You are entitled to think they way you choose, but as such, I am entitled and compelled to tell you why I disagree with your assessment and even take offense to it. Apologies if it's long, but I'm not going to sit back and let it slide.
It's ignorant. You do not have to like this story, that is a-ok with me, but don't make assumptions based on your own projections of what you think is happening. You are clearly searching for bias.
We are two chapters in (for a work-in-progress demo) and literally the only RO introduced yet is a man because I wasn't going to force every RO into 1 chapter. And, no, this was not written for female MCs exclusively. I take personal offense to such drivel as I am an a-gendered writer who uses she/her pronouns to simplify my personal life, but I identify as leaning more masculine. I play almost exclusively male MCs when I read IFs and I do not have any particular gender in mind while writing. Quite frankly, I believe that assigning genders to certain things like actions, clothing, or even speech is ridiculous - and it's on you as the reader if you do such things. People should just BE so that is how I write.
It might be you're projecting your assumptions onto what you're reading, we all tend to do that. Just because women are not directly showcased in the early life of the MC means literally nothing, but you are assuming that it means something. There are supportive male characters up front NOT because of what you assume is for a female MC (which, also, I do not get why this equates to 'written for female MC'), but because I want there to be male characters in a story (like 2 dads and a soft-hearted bestie) that allow for men to just be what they want without fitting a particular niche in literature (like a big strong bear of a man that cries openly or another man who hunts and fishes but also cares if his throw pillows match his curtains). I've said this before, the MC "shy about their chest" applies to men too! Good grief, I know more men who are shy about their chests than the women I've met. I wasn't going to write that and assume "just because man, means they are just not shy about anything north of the border." I'm also writing for 3 gender selections and it is better to just error on caution and not have to ham-fist programming in for something so benign.
If you read the list of warnings, it specifically says that this is not written with touch-aversion in mind. If your MC does not like the hug, then consider that Oswin simply reacted, you know, like humans tend to do - without thinking. I am not out to write these characters as inhumanly as possible and make everything perfect - it is not possible to account for every single thing that people will not like - hence the warning that there are limited instances where the MC can choose for or against a touch. If you feel "forced to think about him all the time" consider that maybe you are doing that to yourself? He's the only one introduced so far and is literally the path to the other parts of the story, so yeah, your MC is "forced to go with him." He plays a huge role in getting the MC from A to B. And again, 2 chapters.
Lunan, thank you for saying everything that I wanted to. I never got the feeling that it was geared towards women, and I play as a guy. I really enjoy this story, and I'm eager to see where you wanna take this adventure. :)
Thank you, so much my dear. I really appreciate that, and I can't wait for you to see how it all unfolds! ^_^
I agree with YellowYello's point, since I also play as a guy and didn't find it geared to any specific gender. I am am especially big fan of a-gendered IFs. Although there's plenty of good IFs out there who aren't which is okay. Anyways I just wanted to say I'm very much enjoying the story. Keep up the good work Lunan!
Thank you, my dear! I really appreciate that you are enjoying the adventure. I didn't set out to do this for any particular gender, and like you, I enjoy IFs regardless of who they may have in mind, if anyone, when they were written. My goal is to continuing making this story just enjoyable for what it is and for who I am as a human. ^_^
Small editing note: when determining the MC's romantic feelings you missed a '<' on the 'feelingsnophys' option so it didn't work properly.
Thank you, my friend! This has been fixed and is ready to roll for the next update! ^_^
Question. Why is a male MC called beautiful (not handsom?) And why is he and others timid about his chest being shown? Or is that just because of the marking? Although feels a bit much for just that. Although outside of that and some odd habits don't have choice on, you have done better than a good number of Interactive stories out there in providing character personality options that fit masculine as well feminine and neutral. I appreciate that.
To many I've come across feel like they were written for only feminine or female characters in mind and expected a change of pronouns and a few words to be enough. Though I realize writing for interactive novels and for such a broad range must be a challenge. I appreciate the effort, and I still try my best to enjoy the stories anyways, despite the disorienting and sometimes immersion breaking moments that can come from that. Sometimes only happens inside same-sex romances. Anyways I run on to much. Hope don't take it wrong way. Have had that happen before and made me a bit afraid to comment to much. Really do appreciate the work you have done here. The two dads are awsome too. Thank you
Hello my friend, thanks for the questions and the comments! I appreciate your thoughts and I don't think you come across as negative or anything, your points are very thought-provoking and are good topics for the IF community.
The way I see things as I write at least is that beautiful doesn't just apply to women. I find some women handsome and others beautiful and the same goes for men. (*Also inferring that you're referencing the scene where MC has a little breakdown after their bath) *I know men (cis) that are quite bashful about their chests - but it can also be fore the marking - that whole scene is just a general point of weakness and vulnerability for the MC (and the MC is also completely nude from top to tail, save for the towel around their shoulders/back). I wanted to error on the bashful side of things.
I've debated about adding a few more choices in the first couple chapters to give readers a heavier hand in the MC's development, and in the future chapters I am trying to add as much variation as I can account for according to the variable values set by previous choices. It gets sticky for sure, but I'm hoping to get better at shaping as much as an individual experience as possible.
I appreciate that you're finding things to be mostly a-gendered (I use she/her, but I identify more ambiguously and often more masculine though the lens I was raised with was feminine). When I read IFs, I primarily have MCs that are men, but I also will play through as women too (just not as often), so I want to try to focus more on the personality/characteristic of the MC and not necessarily ascribe masculine or feminine to their choices. I honestly don't always notice gender-inflection while writing my IF, but I know it's probably there (and I'm oblivious sometimes >_<). The issue is that my interpretation of those things will differ, as you can already see. But, like all of us, it's a work in progress and I hope to refine it as much as I can for such a wide audience.
Your input is very much appreciated, and you've given me some things to think on as I work! ^_^ (Sorry for long reply, and I'm thrilled that you like the dads!)
Ah understand. Guess didn't think about it that way. Thank you for explaining. Also I was referring to the scene after with the Mage by the way. The Fathers turning around when he's just lifting his shirt. Towel thing was ambiguous enough to imagine it lower. Was pretty amusing too LOL Poor Oswin.
Anyways I don't usually put this in public, but I wonder if some misunderstandings in past could have been avoided if I had. I am trans-male myself. Might be part of reason I struggle with some of that to. Maybe I should be better than this, but I still struggle a little bit when it feels like something or someone is trying to push me into playing the old stereotyped feminine or female roles/ideas. Yet I love reading these interactive fiction stories. I don't have the energy to do freeform writen role-playing like I used to.(Nor do I know how to find a good community for it these days) So this has been my substitute I guess.
Thank you for your hard work and response too
Oh, the scene with Ansar - I forgot about that happening *derp. I imagined that would be just a respect thing for any gender selection that the dads would do for their kid - error on the side of it being a bit personal. (Poor Oswin indeed; he's had it rough so far and it's not over, lol).
I think the world of interactive fiction has historically leaned more feminine, but we're seeing a trend - however gradual - that is leaning away from that. Perhaps not masculine, but maybe more a-gendered approach (though admittedly, I tend to have some trouble distinguishing sometimes and it's possible I interpret that because I really want to see it that way, lol). Not sure, but I do wonder if that stems from Otomes popularizing it in some way? The stereotypical never really worked for me either, and I want to always keep that in mind as I write. People should be able to just be, and that's what I hope to emulate in the worlds I create.
Thank you for sharing a part of yourself with me. I appreciate you reading and taking the time to give me thoughtful insights to broaden my scope for how I write this. ^_^
Just returned to check in on this and saw some of the comments you were facing. I wanted to apologize if this is a result of my questions and input possibly stirring something up in the community. I could be wrong on that but still. I never wanted to cause you grief if I did. I really appreciate the effort you have made.
I am aware I may be more sensitive on some things than others, and I try to be mindful of that. I was raised in an area with a lot of treditionally minded folk, and while I moved away from there years ago and recognize behaviors and interests should not be limited to genders. Nor do I fit those niches completely myself. I still haven't found a better way to explain things without using masculine, feminine, neutral for categories of grouped behaviors. Forgive me if some misunderstanding comes from that or if it is wrong. I don't know if it is. Also not sure how else to do it. Putting concepts into words can be difficult.
Also for people (not author) who want to assume and accuse me of being narrow-minded of phobic. I feel like I should be allowed to enjoy playing into some stereotypes as much as bending or breaking them. Without being dissed or accused of something I am not and is against my own moral code to be. (Has happened before). I am not saying I am without flaws but I do make effort to be better than that. If something comes off wrong. Talk to me so I know what I need to improve or in some cases clarify.
On another note. Look forward to checking out the update when I get the chance. Sorry got long-winded there.
No, no my dear. You are fine. I did not find your comments offensive, there was a person who was less than civil in the way they were expressing themselves. Your comment was more exploring and questioning, opening up a conversation. Once I explained my point of view, you were accepting and gracious. With the other person's comment, I felt attacked and judged more than anything.
Great story, so excited to get to the update!
Does the curse-mark I choose have any affect on the rest of the story, or any meaning behind each one, or is it just an aesthetic decision?
Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying it!
Each mark adds a different flavor to the MC, but isn't like a path-changer or anything like that. The choice in mark kinda tags along with a bigger thing later in the story though. 😀
Alrighty! Good to know!
Yeah I’ve followed this story since 20 days ago! Just saw the new update and had to get back into it!
Can’t wait to see what you’ve got in store for us!
Love it so far!!! Oswin is such a cutie. He better not run from my love lol.
Thank you so much! I'm thrilled that you're loving it, but you better grab your running shoes, lol.
Kidding! ^_^Omg, I loved ittt, I'm very intrigued about Oswin, can't wait to read it all :')
Thank you, my friend! I'm so thrilled you're loving it! I can't wait to get this whole story out there, it's burning a hole in me to not reveal all my secrets. >_<
God damn it the story is gonna make me cry, isn't it?It's so good but so God damn painful at the same time.I feel like I was the m c for a minute there
Not that I wish trauma upon you, but I am glad that you were so invested in it! If it's any consolation, I have cried a few times while writing it, lol. ^_^
Just to answer your question about the tw list, I glace through trigger warning lists to make sure none catch my attention, since I don't mind most warnings, but sometimes one grabs my attention that I don't agree with reading, or that I just am not in the right mood for. Generally, though, I read a wide net of IF's so not very often does the list make me turn away, more often just set them aside
I'm the same way. Sometimes, if I do find something off-putting, I just need to come back on another day when my mood is higher. For some of the bigger triggers, I'm hoping to give options to skip with an undetailed summary so it's still digestible even if someone is having a rough day. ^_^
oh, speaking of trigger warnings
i think off-screen death in (or shortly thereafter i guess? if we're being pedantic) childbirth might be a good one to add, it's quite a bit different from regular ol' death/manslaughter
I agree, I was thinking the same after a convo I had yesterday with someone on Tumblr that I need to add something that's more clear in that regard. You're right, it's still different enough that it needs to be mentioned.
spoiler
this appears if i select the option to be submissive just bc i choose not to have a dick, even tho i selected masculine pronouns (which i thought would set my gender)
Yeah, that's definitely some language variation that I missed while writing that section. I'll correct that in my next update. Thanks for letting me know!
Obsessed, enthralled, fascinated, I want more!
My mind keeps going back to this game, what did you put on this. I luv Oswin so much I wanna dissect him♡ lovingly ♡ so I know his secrets♡
Well, get your tools ready, because he's got a few of those, and they're buried deep! 👨⚕️🔪
Thank you for the very kind (and just a tiny bit scary) comment; I'm so glad you're enjoying this and I can't wait to share more with you! As we speak, I'm doing some work on chapter 3! 😁
Thanks♡, being a tad unsettling is part of my charm. Your work may be 'God Cursed' but you are sure God blessed with the gift of writing! May all of us continue to enjoy patiently what you graciously shared☆
I have to agree, I was quite charmed.
In addition to charming, your words are quite kind, double threat! 😇
I love my new dads so much 😭
And they will always love you too, my friend. <3
^_^
I WAS SO NERVOUS THROUGHOUT THE PLAYTHROUGH CAUSE I HALF EXPECTED MY CHARACTERS PARENTS TO DIE (i got attached almost instantly and i am on the brink of tears)
i feel like there's something more to grandmother's vanishing and oH YOUR WRITING i love it so. i. i am very emotionally attached and if anything happens to my character's fathers while they are gone author i WILL cry at you and flood your home.
also. why can't I get a cat huh. I want a cat. where was the option to pet the cat. why was there no option to pet the cats.
oh... world building.. i'm already invested and imm also. nervous. does the symbol that i chose change the story does it lock me into a path i am nervous but also excited. can't wait for more!
Pretty sure your comment has made my life, lol. Thank you so much, you've made ME tear up too!
My friend, you'll have to be sure in future chapters to take good care of your parents, now won't you ;) (*nervously buys flood insurance*)
The symbol you chose will flavor your story a bit. I have some ideas about it that I am working through, but as it stands now, that selection will sort of piggyback onto a different major - route altering - choice later in the story. (You may find out more about your grandmother later as well!)
Also, you are 100% right! Why on Earth did I not put in some kitty interaction!? I'm a cat-fanatic, what the hell is wrong with me? I will right this wrong in future updates! :3
what are you buying flood insurance for. WHAT ARE YOU BUYING FLOOD INSURANCE FOR.
No reason. Just, you know, being a responsible adult and all that...yeah. It's fine. I'm sure it's fine.
Disney would like to hire you. xD
LOL That weirdly makes me feel like I'm the one in danger.
Ladies, Gentlemen, and Esteemed Guest of all origin. THIS!!✨✨ Just. This. Yes. Absolutely. Much love. Need more. Immediately.
Gah, you are too kind, my friend! At this rate, I may actually melt, lol. ^_^
no words can express how much i loved this demo
inexplicably, it gave me a lot of gender euphoria
especially the nsfw bit hahai'm incredibly excited to see where this goes <3
I am so glad you loved it! Especially the
nsfwbit lol. I felt the most self-conscious over that segment, and you've successfully boosted my confidence, friend! 🥰the confidence boost is absolutely deserved, you did a really good job with it! i read a lot of interactive fiction (we love escapism in this house lol) and your nsfw scene execution is definitely in the top 10 of the list
not the main part i love about the story tho, obviously :p
Oh my goodness, thank you so much! There are more spicy times in store, and I have some fun ideas, so I hope you will enjoy them just as much! :D
This is absolutely fantastic!! I've been on a bit of an IF kick lately and I can say that this is without a doubt one of the most interesting games that I've run into recently - only a demo, too! I'm over here genuinely tweaking over how good the writing is... totally will be keeping an eye on the development for this, I'm hyped to see where it leads!
Oh, you've warmed the dark little corners of my heart this morning, my friend! Thank you so much for the kind words. I'll strive to keep you hyped in the future! <3
Hi! I liked the prologue and the worlduildig so far. Could you add options to choose MC's name from?
I wasn't originally going to, but I've been reconsidering it lately. In my next update, I'll probably add a small list of suggestions. Thank you for your input and I am glad you are liking it so far! :D
This is a great demo so far. You're writing is very compelling and I'm very excited to see how this develops. :)
Thank you so much! I'm elated that you're enjoying it! 😊
I cannot express how the great joyous emotions this IF has caused me. I'm fiending over your writing and also stunned at how early I am considering this is a newly posted game. I look forward to more! You're doing amazing!!! :D (ty for feeding us gremlins with this scrumptious writing)
Gah! Your words are so kind that I can barely look at my screen! I am so happy that you're enjoying it and I can't wait to feed you more. <3
This was amazing! Very well written and interesting premise, I absolutely can not wait for more! 😊
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying it! 🥰
The story is so well-written that I binged read it! This is really good for a demo. The characters felt so alive for me, especially MC's parents. They're so lovely! 💕
Ahhhh, thank you so much! Your kind words have fueled me this morning! I am so happy that you're enjoying it. I'm especially fond of the parents and had way too much fun writing them. ^_^