This is very well-written and shows promise for the writer to grow, he minigame sec tion - the zone didn't always stay orange, why? But it was good - but i was getting tired toward the end just cause i didn't know what the grey zone meant as opposed to the orange. It's very beautiful, the prose is rich but the action and momentum is lacking. That said, for a jam game it's quite rich and impressive!
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Okay, i thought it was something like that - very good! This is a very full game - problem is it isn't minimalistic which actually ISN'T a problem. I would recommend adding some more action to the story, mor complexity between the relationships, i think it ends really well, so i wouldn't change that too much, but I think it's very well done! You should win except it's not minimal lol :D