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(7 edits) (+1)

Okay, just finished playing. It's quite good so far! I'm most interested in the relationship with Lane thus far - the tension there is pretty nice. 🥰

First wanted to note, it would be nice to have save options, and also a button to restart or go back during a playthrough, rather than having to play thru the whole thing just to fix a wrong choice we made. Oh, also, can we have an option to choose our MC's skin color or ethnicity? I may have missed it but I think it wasn't among the customisation.

For parts that could use some improvement, I do hope that we have more chances to roleplay our character's personality, including the tone of what we say, how we choose to act, & how we feel about different issues that come up.
For example, when all the guys are overly worried about my (male) MC because of what Jacques said relating to Kingston's presence (tbh their reaction was sorta overkill), I would have liked the option to say something like, 'stop acting like goddamn mother hens, I'm not gonna break at the mere mention of Kingston', if I felt it was within my personality-type to reject such treatment. I mean, especially from guys that are around my own (male MC's) age and probably wouldn't realistically be doting like that over MC, who should just be 'one of the guys' to them (at least if a choice/my choices have shown that MC is a more stoic type that's used to handling pressure & internalising or pushing down stresses). Or at least the option to be dismissive, thankful or irritated over their concern on the issue. Just a suggestion, but I feel such options would go a long way to making our MC feel more real and personalised.

It would also be great to be able to determine just how bothered I felt by my ex being my rival in the first place, rather than having our MC freaking out or hyperventilating as the standard when we see or come in contact with the ex. TBH that felt like a bit of an over-reaction for a semi-professional racer in their 20s.

The LI's are pretty nice so far - quite well-written and all of them sound sexy. I'd like the choice to be able to be more or less assertive in interactions with them tho - what we say and how we act. Choosing to lead or to follow in interactions, like when Ryder wants us to go outside with him.

But yeah, I genuinely can't wait to see how this story pans out, especially when the racing starts. The tension is gonna be so good when MC gets pitted against these guys. Good luck with it! 👍

I have read everything you wrote. This chapter was a rough draft so to say. I have been rewriting it and currently just updated the newest version (and hopefully the final before moving on to chapter 2). 

In the revision, I wanted to focus on giving the player more of a say, so hopefully the new version is more up to your taste. I did not add ethnicity nor anything that I might not use in the story or be that relevant but if I do see it to work or need it, I 'll definitely add it. 

Moving forward, I do want to give the player more choices over their reactions. I'm a newbie to coding and writing IFs so that might be easy to see. I am trying, though, so I hope I can only improve. Saves should be working now, too!

Glad you enjoyed it, and happy you're here!