Post by Melancholy Marionette in Sapphire Snowe: The Bear, The Beast & The Blizzard comments

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You don't need to apologise :3 I guess the extra voice files must've made it more of a struggle to load on winlator then >.<

I'm travelling to spend a few days with my friend atm as we haven't met up since August last year, so I can't type much without getting travel sick x3

I'll reply properly to your other message when I get home next week though + see if I can fiddle around adding more loads into a separate version of the game for you :3 Although, I'm a little worried it might not help if it's struggling with the overall load of the game size as a whole >.< I can try though and see if more loads will make a difference!

Heck, if you're only interested in the masculine version of Snowe, I could take out all of the files for the feminine version because that should help!

I hope you get to have as good of a week as possible :3

vocaloidsrcool1 year ago(+1)

That's okay, just stay safe and have fun with your friend. Your health is more important than anything.

Ooh, that is a good idea! Taking out feminine Snowe's voice lines as well should definitely help. I don't usually date girls in games, so it's fine.

Take as long as you need to reply and enjoy your day and rest of the week.

Melancholy Marionette1 year ago

Sooo, I’m back home now and I’ve made a new version for you :3

I added a good few more loading sections + removed everything to do with fem Snowe. Not just fem Snowe’s voice lines but also the narrator’s ones that use she/her pronouns for Snowe (that was like 400+ files, haha.) I think maybe some of Saffie’s ending monologue pronoun changes for fem Snowe are still in there cos I forgot to delete those ones x3 but that’s only like 6 files, so it shouldn’t really make a difference!

And yeah, I removed all the text in the script for fem Snowe too, so I’m really hoping it’s enough to get it to work start to finish on Winlator for you x3

I also took out the music player from the extras section because that takes a long time and a lot of resources to load + I will be uploading the OST to YouTube soon anyhow if you happen to want to listen to it at all.

If it still doesn’t work, I don’t think I can add any more loads cos there are a lot now xD Every time it moves to a new chapter, there is a load + extra ones for the last few choices that lead to different endings, haha.

There is more I can try though so not all hope is lost. The most drastic thing I can do is remove all VA completely, but that would be a last resort I guess.

I can always remove 1 character’s VA first, so, for example, if you would like to try and keep masc Snowe’s VA in there, I could take out all of the narrator’s or all of Saffie’s voiced lines (or both) to see if it would help!

With any luck though, this first version with just all the fem Snowe stuff removed will work for you! I uploaded it to Google Drive, so hopefully you can download it okay from there :3 https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1vttkDa6EXxjuYW4bhewN-il4YjGMxEdc?usp=sha...

vocaloidsrcool1 year ago(+1)

Wow, that must have taken a lot of time and effort to do! What did I do to deserve an amazing friend like you? *hugs* I will let you know if it still doesn't work, but I don't think there should be anymore problems now.

It's not as great as what you did, but I made a game for you. I uploaded it to itch.io, and after downloading it, all you have to do is open the html file with an html viewer. This is a game made with Twine, so if it doesn't work, I can make it run in the browser.

The only issue is that itch.io won't show the images when I view it on the browser, but you can still play it.

So, let me know if you can't play it, or if the images still don't show. Oh, and you have to keep the images in the folder, so that they can show up in the game.

That's all the instruction I can give you, because I'm new to Twine, so I don't know much about it yet.

I hope that you can play it without any trouble, and I hope that you enjoy it!

Here is the link to the game:

https://vocaloidsrcool.itch.io/monochrome-rainbow

Melancholy Marionette1 year ago

I wasn’t counting the hours, but it took me the good part of a day, haha. Deleting the fem Snowe stuff was easy enough, but adding the extra loading points was a bit trickier just cos I had to make sure everything worked okay afterwards :3 I tend to get really paranoid if I don’t test stuff properly as well, so I ran back through the whole game in the Unity previewer after I’d made all the changes, haha. It’s a good job I did too cos I found a couple of issues that were caused by the changes I made and was able to fix them! I just hope it does actually work for you now :D But if not, I did save my changes as a separate project so it would be pretty fast to make more changes if needed!

Ahh, that’s so cool :D I’ve played a few Twine games in the past! I’ve never actually used it myself, but I probably would have if I’d known it existed before I started trying to make VNs! That’s super sweet of you to make something though :3 Thank you so much! I haven't had a chance to check it out yet cos I wasn't able to even be on my PC much last week >.< Got a lot going on atm and on top of other things, the support group I started going to last week has set us some homework as well xD I will let you know when I finally get a chance to check it out though :3 Just gotta catch up on everything I'm behind on first, which is somehow a hell of a lot already >.< haha. Hope you get to have a good week ahead! *giant internet hugs*

vocaloidsrcool1 year ago(+1)

Um, I don't want to bother you anymore, but when I played the game, it crashed when Sapphie woke up in the jail cell. I experimented with the game files a bit, and when I took the resources.resource file out the game played until the end, but had no bgm, sound effects, or voice acting. I think you may need to take out all audio except for male Snowe's voice, including the bgm, and Sapphie's and the narrator's voice lines.

It's okay if you have other things to do right now; just take your time, and do what you need to do. Oh, and I wrote a poem for you on quotev. I'll give you the link to it now:

https://www.quotev.com/story/16336895/Alive-Again/1

Melancholy Marionette1 year ago

It’s not a bother at all :3 Actually, I managed to take more stuff out, export, and upload another version early last week, but then a lot of shit happened, and I ended up not having time to actually reply to let you know I’d uploaded another build >.<

I didn’t take eeeeverything out, but I removed all of Saffie + Narrator’s voice lines, so all that’s left are masc Snowe voice lines, BGM, and SFX. There aren’t that many BGM or SFX files, so I would like to hope that they would be able to stay in, but still, you never know I guess.

I put it in the same Google Drive folder, but in case you need the link again, it’s here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1vttkDa6EXxjuYW4bhewN-il4YjGMxEdc?usp=dri...

I still haven’t managed to check out the game you made yet, but I did read the poem you wrote while I was exporting the new build last week :3 It’s so sweet! Thank you so much for that <3

I’m a sucker for poems, haha. Well, I just love rhyming words in general! I know not all poems rhyme, but I like rhyming ones the most, haha. I don’t know if I’m quite as sweet as a candy cane, but it’s a nice thought :3 The whole thing was just really thoughtful and sweet!

It’s kind of funny really that you have a better idea of who I am than most of my family does >.< I know I can’t speak for them, but I imagine they probably think of me as things like: shy, quiet, withdrawn, boring, and weird x3 They never get to see the real me because I never feel safe enough to actually be myself around them. The only place I feel free to 100% be myself is in the comfort of my home with my dad and brother + when writing things online!

Anyways, I won’t go into detail, but I got a letter last week that basically made me go into meltdown. It’s to do with the government and my support money, and to cut a long story short, they are basically discriminating against me on account of my autism according to the people running the support group I’m in atm >.< And I’m now gonna be stuck in a battle for probably 2+ years trying to fight my case. I can’t do it alone because they refuse to make reasonable adjustments and won’t even read the things I write even though I’ve tried my best to explain that it’s the only way I can effectively communicate. So now I’m having to use an advocacy service to try and help me and speak on my behalf to even stand a chance at sorting things out.

It’s honestly exhausting and so insulting and degrading. I don’t know if they’re aware of how psychologically damaging their actions are, or if they know exactly how harmful their actions are and they do it on purpose :( Whatever the case, I’m not doing so well as a result of it.

I want you to know though that I have read your other message, and I will reply when I get a chance. It’s just everything is very stressful and overwhelming at the moment, so I’m not sure when I’ll be able to.

I hope that you at least got to have a good weekend though and that you have a happy week ahead :3

vocaloidsrcool1 year ago(+1)

It's okay, I know that stuff happens, and you have your own life to live. I am just happy that you did that for me.

This time, if it doesn't work, I'll just wait for the next update of Winlator to see if that one works better. There is already a beta 5.1 version, but, since it is still being tested, I haven't tried it yet. Thank you so much for all of your hard work and effort! ^_^

I Iove rhyming! That's why I enjoy writing poems. I'm so happy to meet someone who loves poems as much as I do. You're welcome! To try so hard to help someone like me, you are very sweet indeed.

I think that I can relate to that feeling; I have become so distant from all of my relatives that I don't think any of them know me. They probably see me as withdrawn and standoffish. I've gotten used to our lack of interaction though; I think sometimes it is better to be alone, so no one can hurt you...but some things are unavoidable, and I am grateful that they took me in, but we simply don't get along.

That is a truly evil thing to do to someone. One of my cousins has anxiety disorder, and is partially blind, so she struggles with these things as well. Some people didn't want to give her disability benefits, like a disability check because she's working, so they say that she doesn't need it. Things got better for her, and I hope that they do for you as well. And trying to push you out of your comfort zone is disgusting; just as you can only communicate through writing, I could only ever work at home, because of my extreme fear of being outside. If someone forced me to work in a company, or anywhere outside my home, I would lose my mind. Please hang in there a bit longer, okay?

Goodness! They sound like either the most corrupt humans alive or my middle school bullies. They likely know how their words and actions affect you, and they just don't care. It is beyond unfair, but, sadly, I have learned that is how many people are.

Listen, I am 32 years old, and I have never had a real job before, while you have. You have your dad, while the only relative that ever loved me is dead. If I haven't given up, you shouldn't either. Don't let those assholes make you feel depressed, or take away your happiness. You made me feel a small joy that I haven't felt in years, so I really want you to be happy. Please stay strong.

Take your time. I know how it feels to be so mentally drained that you don't want to do anything.

Same. I really hope that things get better for you.

Melancholy Marionette1 year ago

I’m more than happy to take more stuff out and export more versions if that last one doesn’t work, so you’re welcome to poke me about it :3 It’s honestly not a bother at all! It does suck though that it’s struggled so much with this one >.<

Hehe, yeah, there’s just something really nice about rhyming words :D I used to write a lot of poetry when I was younger cos it helped me vent feelings and stuff x3

Yeah, I mean, there’s a lot of stuff in life I wish I could get out there and do, but the world outside home is often so hostile that it’s easier to stay inside most of the time where it’s actually safe >.< Plus I feel like the second I step outside the door, I put on a mask and start acting, so my energy begins immediately draining :( Whereas at home, it’s pretty much the only place where I feel like I can be myself.

It makes me sad that you don’t even have that level of comfort at home though :( cos living with people that you don’t get along with is really tough. I’ve been stuck in situations like that in the past and I can only describe it as hell >.<

I don’t know why people in charge across the world make it so hard for people with all kinds of different disabilities to exist :( Most people aren’t asking for handouts so they can laze around. They just want to access some support so they can live as independently as possible, but the government just doesn’t seem to see that >.< They just seem to think all disabled people are a burden that needs eliminating or something o.O

Yeeeeah, there have been accusations of the DWP here purposefully harming disabled people for many years, sadly :( There have even been a significant number of suicides in relation to people dealing with them, but they always try to cover things up and keep it buried so that the general public doesn’t find out about that sort of thing. There are always small groups fighting them, but they don’t tend to get anywhere with change cos the DWP is part of the government, so it’s like it’s impossible to fight them.

That’s a funny coincidence cos I just had my 32nd birthday this month, haha.

To be fair on the job front, I only got the couple of jobs I’ve ever had because the employers were desperate x3 The one I had in retail was just a part-time Christmas one that only lasted 1 month cos they needed to boost their staff numbers to handle the Christmas madness. And when I was a scare actor for a month, they would’ve hired pretty much anyone who turned up cos they never have enough people.

But I am extremely lucky to have my dad and tbh, I live in constant fear of losing him >.< pretty much because he’s my main reason for living. Losing my gran was bad enough. I don’t think I will be able to survive without my dad. Or more accurately I guess, life just wouldn’t be worth living without him.

Two of my closest friends have also lost parents that they were really close to themselves, and like you, I honestly have no idea how any of you have found the strength to keep going. To me, you all seem like super strong people.

I’m trying my best to block out most of reality by focusing singlemindedly on game jam stuff x3 Trying to get volume 02 of Yandere Heaven finished in time for the end of Yandere Jam. Thankfully, the person from an advocacy charity that was assigned to help me has been extremely helpful and just generally lovely to communicate with. Unlike the evil government departments, she actually understands me and has treated me with dignity and respect. Without her help and expertise on this benefit-related stuff, I would’ve probably just become completely hopeless cos it was all way too much to deal with by myself >.< She helped to write the necessary letter to send to the gov and even posted it off for me.

Now it’s just a matter of another loooong wait cos the gov isn’t obliged to actually respond within a specific time >.< I know some people have battled for 2-3 years to get it all sorted. The person who has been helping me with it said that I should just try my best to forget about it for now, so yeah, working on the jam is my way of doing that x3 It just means everything else in my life gets neglected in the process, which isn’t great >.< but it’s pretty much the only way I can function.

Thank you for your support and kind words :3 I don’t know what sort of music you like, but a song I listen to a lot when I’m feeling down about being different and not fitting in and stuff is this, and it helps just a teeny tiny bit x3

I really hope that things get better for you as well! You deserve to live a happy life :3 Maybe someday we will both be lucky enough to be truly happy x3

vocaloidsrcool1 year ago(+1)

You are an angel, and a miracle worker! It works! The game works, and I can hear his voice! I wish I could thank Snowe's voice actor, because he really did an incredible job. I am going to replay that game so many times because of him, and your wonderful writing skills. (:

I mostly write to vent feelings and escape reality. When I was younger, and I read my stories to myself, I felt like I had escaped to a world all my own, and it was even better than any other story, because I know what to write to make myself feel happy and free.

I simply dissociate myself from them, which leads to me spending time alone, reading and playing games to escape. It's unhealthy, and sometimes I question my mental health, but it keeps me from doing what Sapphie almost did. I'm still here because I know how to use fiction to heal myself.

This is why many people think that the government is evil. People are already struggling because of their condition, and they just make things worse for them. I really hope things get better one day. It's depressing to live under the thumb of such corrupt humans.

Why are those monsters given such positions of power? And of course, ordinary citizens can do nothing against them. It's like a killer having connections to a cop, so calling the police on them is useless. It's disgusting.

Oooh, are we the same age? That is so cool! And, Happy Belated Birthday! I hope that you had a very fun time on your Birthday~

At least you can say that you have prior work experience in job interviews, that's really helpful.

I was asking myself what I'm living for, and...heh, I guess to check on game updates on twitter and tumblr. To be honest, games are the only reason I'm still alive, and that is why I die a little inside whenever someone deletes their game, especially when it's still incomplete. Uh, I don't know what I would do without good otome games, Winlator, and Joiplay. Mobile games are frustrating because you can only play a little every day, with constant prompts to buy more energy or tickets to continue playing, and have to get items to progress. So I can only play windows games with emulators like Joiplay, and Winlator. Some might say that it is a childish reason to live, but I seriously dont know what I would do if I couldn't cling to a fictional world with cute boys.

After hearing what you are going through, I think you are the strong one. Being harassed so much can't be easy to deal with.

It's good to have an escape, and I hope the game progress goes well. Even though I don't really like mean yanderes I'll try to play the second volume of Yandere Heaven. (: The advocate sounds really kind. And I am really glad that you had someone help you try to communicate your feelings to the government. It isn't right that the Government can take as much time as they want to reply to you. Ignoring you won't make things any better.

I tend to ignore the world around me when I use a coping mechanism like reading, writing, or gaming to forget something, so I understand.

I really love this song! The rhythm is so upbeat, and the lyrics are so deep. It is like the speaker is singing directly to me. I have it on repeat right now, in fact. A song that really relates to me, and mirrors how I feel is this: youtube.com/watch?v=AiY8j1jD9vs

(If the link doesn't work it's called 'Hello, How Are You' by Lizz Robinett. She does a great cover of the song.)

If the day does come where I am happy, it will be because of you. Thank you for being an amazing friend!

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