Indie game storeFree gamesFun gamesHorror games
Game developmentAssetsComics
(1 edit) (+1)

It's weird for me to see how articulated your comments are, yet the grammar and structure of the game dialogue is so rough.

I don't mean this in a mean way, but is English your first language? If it isn't, then I understand. And perhaps it would help to have an English person to help put the dialogue together. If it IS your first language... then perhaps it would still help to have someone else proof read it before hand. Again, I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm saying that to try to help you. Because when there are so many errors, it can distract from the game.

I planned on having a list with the errors and corrections to help, but the list got too long to type here. However, I would be happy to help you make corrections--if you plan to do that. The game, for the most part, I have been enjoying. I want to recommend it to others through my blog, but I just feel like it needs a little refinement is all. I hope you don't take this negatively, just wanted to help. Best of luck with your future endeavors!

I completely understand where you're coming from. English is actually not my first language so I cannot promise perfect grammar, however this was my very first attempt at making a visual novel and posting it so I obviously wasn't as educated on some things as I am now. Although I do believe I am getting better with time, you can see from my newest project. I can't say I'm proud of this novel, I actually cringe whenever I think of how bad my storytelling skills were when I made it, but I decided not to delete it since some people seemed to enjoy it.

Sorry for the long reply, and thank you for the constructive criticism.

Hey it's okay! We all have cringe-worthy past projects. I have plenty of my own! Like I said, I wasn't trying to be mean about it because I liked a lot of what you tried to do. Are your other games here on as well? Because I would certainly be interested in trying them as well. :)

I only have one more game posted at the moment apart from this one, I had more but I deleted them since they were so bad. Although I am working on something new.

Then I'll be sure to keep an eye out :)