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The very first thing that I noticed is that direction prompts are reversed. Right comes before left, and the visual contradicts that as well. I hate to say it, but it immediately left a bad first impression. I know this is beta, and mechanically things are good enough, but I was not a fan of how enemies aren't described when you encounter them. I found some monster and tried fighting it only to die (it was close, so in terms of balance no problem) however if you get knocked out you come back to life with half stats. Considering even the critters can kill you at that point (and they did), it made me feel more frustrated then anything.

I want to stress, I don't think this is a bad game but some minor tweaks would go a long way on this project. I can see the work you've put into it, and it seems like a lot (having messed around in Twine myself), so please don't let my feedback discourage you. When you are on the next version let me know and I'll be happy to give it another go :)

I saw your other post, and I agree, some music would add a lot to this. I could recommend you a composer if you would like? He'd probably do you a track for free and charge you a more than fair rate for anything beyond that. He's a swell guy, worked with him lots. Anyway, up to you on that front, just let me know. Hope all goes well for ya!


First of all, feedback like this is invaluable and thank you for your time and effort.

I am completely frustrated by the formatting of the direction prompts, but will give it another go, perhaps with w,s,a,d... I can add descriptions for enemies however this already has its own tab from the base  as you discover new enemies. 

Do you therefore think stats should be fully restored after knock outs, and just have a money penalty as the forfeit?

I don't know what to say about the frustration element... Is it too hard...? But alternatively its meant to be a strategy game. I think the game gets a lot more foundation to it as you progress, it is just a rough start - IS THIS THE WRONG WAY ROUND!!!

What do you mean by "the visual contradicts that as well", does this refer to the map?

Honestly I'd love to get a couple of tracks off this guy for a fiver or so. Would be more than happy to do that.

Thanks again ( you are kinda the only person to have helped me with a game so very happy to hear from you!)

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Really no trouble, when I have a few minutes I don't mind helping folks out :)

What I was referring to with the directional prompts is that they don't match the positioning relative to your current map position, so when I speak of "the visuals" I'm talking about the map. Example, the first screen shows I can only move right, left takes me back to home, but the button prompts are positioned so right is in the leftmost position and vice-versa. I get the logic behind this decision, but it wound up confusing, for me at least. This may be something that requires more than one voice, I just found it somewhat clumsy, and thus frustrating for myself.

I think you have a good sense for balance, so the half-health mechanic is probably fine. What I would do instead is just give the player a bonus healing item or two at the start. When I was trying to learn your game, this would have been a big help. Part of the reason this wound up being a frustrating experience for myself is that I was being punished for not knowing anything, so to come back at such a disadvantage and literally unable to afford anything of real use, was discouraging. It didn't make me really want to try again.

100% believe you that once you get going this game probably becomes a lot of fun. That initial hurdle needs to be lowered, and my suggestion above may be the most elegant solution for you given the medium you're using. Of course, it is only a suggestion, and if you have a better idea then go for it!

I contacted my composer buddy to see if he has room/interest for a project right now. When he gets back to me I'll send him your way. I'll send him your account info regardless so he can get in touch with you faster.

Anyway, really was no trouble to help out. Hope your project is met with success and I'm looking forward to how you move forward with everything :)

EDIT - I forgot to mention about the monsters. When they first appear it would be nice to have a little descriptor. The first thing I encountered was clearly a higher level enemy but seeing that I hadn't seen anything before I had no way of knowing. I just got a name, which doesn't tell me much necessarily. I did notice on the base you get that info, but a small blurb when you encounter a monster (at least the first time) would be a good idea.


I have addressed every point mentioned and they will be updated in the next version of the game.

Your composer has contacted me and we may work on something soon.

Thanks again.

Was no trouble. Let me know when you update the game and I'll check it out for ya again :)


Another quick thought I had was to reduce stamina consumption per movement to just 1, but lower the encounter rate, so that people can explore more. I would perhaps have to make the cave map bigger to do this though.

That could be interesting, though for now I didn't really feel like that was really an issue. I'll have to check the game out again when it is updated (just let me know). I'll provide feedback again at that time.


I've updated the game to Beta 4 and am in contact with your music guy.

The current music is just something I had made in the past to fill in, but I am waiting for the new music.

Beta 4 is out, however lots of the new content is for mid/late game (i.e the river and its plot), so up to you if you play past the first cave (when the river unlocks). 

I only had a short time to explore the improvements and I've got to say it feels SO much better now. The only things that I noticed this time around was that the music would have some issues every once and awhile. Since I stuck it out further this time, I did find myself wanting a "back to base" option while exploring the cave. I wouldn't mind if that had a price attached to it either. It might be something to consider at least. Anyway, good job on the improvements :)


Great idea - like the escape ropes from Pokemon- the music is not bugged, just that I only have one track which I need to use twice...

Glad you like it. The music thing I insist on though. It cut out multiple times and there was even 2 instances of total silence for 10's of seconds. I just wanted you to know that was my experience. Perhaps my slow internet is to blame? I'm not saying it is your fault, just that it happened and wanted to let you know.

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When it cuts out is when the next rack comes in (in battle scenes), but I don't know about the total silence- when did this happen.

I had it while exploring two of the dead ends. Sorry I can't remember which ones specifically since I was mapping the cave. I know one was on the farther edge though.