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You do realize that grading is often the purpose of coming to gamejam. To get an estimate of your abilities, to test yourself... 

How can I tell if I did well or not if I'm not being rated?)

When you take part of a game jam it's important you take a active part of the playing, rating, and giving feedback. When you give feedback there is a link to your game. If you make some great feedback it should motivate them to give feedback back to you. It should never be necessary to be begging for feedback in 'rate for rate'-posts.   

(+1)

This JAM being an exception, I've always been making my games and keeping it for me and my friends so to me a JAM is more about enjoying yourself. You should probably already have an idea on how well you did according to your own vision of your work. Like everybody, you probably learnt a lot, maybe there are topics you discovered and that you wish to explore in the future. Maybe you had some time issues as well, how could you better manage your time for the next one, what took the most time, where do you feel that you need to put some extra effort and become better ?

All these questions are what lead me to the current developer I am and my workflow, and I keep asking myself the very same questions even after 7 years of active JAMs and am still often slightly changing my workflow. Of course you could say that I'm not legitimate to say all that since I have one of the most rated games, but since I've never shared my work before, I have a hard time understanding your point fully. On my end I'm playing like minimum 15 games per day and leaving feedbacks as meaningful as possible. Even tho I do not play and rate for this purpose, most of the time these same devs I left feedback for, come back to me and take the time to leave me with some feedbacks. I may be lucky or whatever, but I wish this vision of mine could help you.