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Hello, thanks for your work!

I wanted to point out that there's an unnecessary (IMO) microaggression against homeless people near the beginning of the game.

While it is true that homeless people can be scary because they can be unkempt, rude about begging, etc., they are still people. Many of them have been failed by society, as opposed to being bad people.

I think using homeless people/scroungers as the source of fear doesn't add value to the narrative in the part of the story. It could be swapped out for something else, e.g. wildlife scrounging for leftover food.

Some food for thought 🙂

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I don't recall any of the characters in the story saying that homeless people aren't people, or that they are all inherently bad. The characters are just being cautious, given they are in a secluded location and nobody else knows where they are. I think it makes sense that they would be wary about any strangers they might encounter, given the circumstances.

I apologise if this offhand remark seemed like a dig at homeless people in general; that was not the intention.

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I didn't perceive it as particularly insulting to homeless people. The issue I take with it is that the homeless are even mentioned at all and that they're presented as something to fear. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/microaggression. It's a small thing, but I think all works of art&media can spread positivity or negativity, and I think this is unnecessary negativity.

It seems unnecessary since to me, the goal of the narrative in that section is to show the personalities of the two; Haruka is more timid and Shiina is more bold. This narrative goal can be achieved without associating a negative emotion to people who are down on their luck, even if that negative emotion is founded in real experiences. It would be different if the section also offered some social commentary, but that's not the case.

You're welcome to stick to your artistic vision, but I think some small changes to that section would improve it. Perhaps even just remove "homeless" and keep "scroungers". The groups don't fully overlap; there are scroungers with homes.

Again, thanks for your work! Yuri is a niche genre and I'm glad you're contributing to the space.

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I guess diping into preconceived cliché is just being “like the other”, it’s easier to talk about ideas everyone “already kind of have” instead of trying to level up the game.

I wish story-tellers were more aware of their “world view” power - if not avoiding to strengthen unjust ideas - even challenging them the time of a story. It happens. Even. Yuri romance can be quite political (I think of the Vengeful hearth VN for instance <3).

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I'm not going to engage with this any further, but as a heads-up: if anybody else decides to reply to this thread, I'll probably delete their response, because I don't want the comments page of this visual novel being cluttered with a discussion about a single sentence in the story. I'll leave the original comment and response up, because I think it's relevant to the story and the poster provided some good points, but I don't want things getting too badly off topic.