The story was quite entertaining. Too bad it ended when the things got more interesting :)
I noticed that sometimes you write about the main character in the third person, while for most of the time it's in the first person. Except of that you could add some simple decisions - even if they are not that important. It's just nice to have a feeling of decision making.
Anyway like I said I really enjoyed the story, so keep up the good work.
Thank you. I have more chapters being worked on. I was curious what chapters you noticed those third person/first person issues? True. I could add more simple decisions, and there may be more later of those types, but right now, I feel if the story needs a decision at any point in it, I will create one. :) After all, this game IS an adaptation of my novel of the same name. :)
Ah, don't get me wrong. I didn't mean there should be some crucial changes and important decisions. It's just my personal thing I guess - when playing VN I just like to have something to click after certain amount of text. Anyway it's not a bad thing, like I said, story was interesting and I enjoyed it. It was entertaining and easy to read.
Also I don't remember where exactly I noticed those third person/first person issues. There weren't many of those anyway, just a few. And it could be me not understanding something. Sometimes you refereed to the main character in description as he or him, I think two times was something like "Grant did something", when normally you it was "I did something".
ah yes. The choices thing makes perfect sense. It is my first VN that I've been working on seriously and adapting it from prose is a bit difficult at times. And I think I tracked the first/third person POVs down. There were at least 2-3 sentences altogether in chapter 5-6 I found esrlier today. Thank you for pointing them out! :)
