Skip to main content

Indie game storeFree gamesFun gamesHorror games
Game developmentAssetsComics
SalesBundles
Jobs
TagsGame Engines
(+2)(-1)

What a breath of fresh air it is to have some diversity! UwU a VN's whole premis is being more than we have in reality, but folks often forget certain aspects of life along the way. Goth's get left behind, disabled people are hardly mentioned, and this is honestly the 1irst time I'm reading about Deaf people in any VN

I have this character written, who has taken a vow of silence after his family's death, and it's caused me to become inventive with how he communicates. Signing is near impossible to describe in a novel, so I think it's great that xa'll decided upon this route! ^^_

SPOILERS

I have many things I could say, but I'll stick with some basics :p

I'd like to see Eric's trauma described in more than just a passing comment. I think it'd really solidify why he's so done with life. I understand WHY he wants more, just the feeling is lost as it's mentioned so briefly, xa know? Trauma like that deserves a little more focus so we can emphasis.

The end of chapter 1ne is also too brief for me. 1nce more, the feeling of just HOW diorientating gaining speech and hearing is for him is there, but I think the scene could gain from more detail :) his Deaf life being taken away is like having his identity stolen, so I personally think it should affect Eric harder.

Otherwise, I really like the direction. The writing can be refined and polished slightly, but I honestly think xou guys can do well with what xou've got so far! n_n

It's a fresh take on isekai, and I think the defining mark that will make OOTW stand out the most is the fact the MC is Deaf. If xou can retain his thought processes of being Deaf while suddenly being able to speak, I think it'll keep xour VN unique.

But hey, this is just the 2wo cents of a fellow furry~ ^__^ keep doing what xou're doing and xa'll will learn along the way! Eager to see where the story goes :p

(+1)

Wow. Your feedback is incredibly useful, I appreciate that very much!!

I agree that signing is a difficult challenge to describe in a novel, so I'm working with a group to discover and invent a method to attempt. One day, we hope to make it happen!

Parts of Eric's trauma- I certainly have a plan for it. Eric (Charos in this case) will have flashbacks that describes the trauma further and much deeper. I believe you (and other readers) will learn more as chapters go by. However, I'm going to take a look at Chapter One and see if I could sneak some details in to give it a little more fuller feeling.

For that specific scene where he get disoriented about gaining speech and hearing- you're correct on that. I'm going to improve on this and sell it stronger! :)

I can see that you have so much to say, perhaps we could take this to somewhere (Telegram perhaps?) and have a productive discussion! Really though, I'm so happy to have this constructive feedback. Thank youu ^_^

(1 edit)

Xou're very much welcome~ n_n I'd like to see xou guys keep going, and I know how rewarding and encouraging it is to do that when xou have more followers, so I'd like to see that happen for OOTW :3

I had an inkling from when I was reading that flashbacks might have been xour plan all along :p very glad to hear xou have so much planned out! :D And it seems xou're having fun doing it, which is the best part in writing because it really does translate into xour work^w^

Ah, apologies "^-^ for personal reasons, the only other platforms I'm currently on are Furaffinity and Twitter. If xou're inclined, I'm more than happy to discuss further on either UwU

but if not, know that I'll be stalking xou here on itch.io as xou guys bring us new updates~ .3./

Haha wonderful! Yes I do, it feels great. FA sounds good to me, I've just followed ya there! @CVillacho on Twitter is a good place to check since I post updates there more often. :)