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The game crashes as soon as you start the "tests"... Tried fullscreen, windowed, aspect ratio changed - crashes all the time...

(1 edit)

Our guess is that it doesn't crash, just takes too long. Any interaction, such as mouse clicks, on the (admittedly poorly implemented) loading screen will be interpreted by Windows as an idle program and it will suggest you to close the program. 
If waiting doesn't help, we will need more information. Feel free to contact us with error logs at somewhatsoftware@gmail.com

I sent a mail with the error report, says it crashes - although what you wrote is also true, from what I noticed.