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Does the game have to actually exist though?

Because if not.......(*clears throat*)

"The title of this project: "Freewill Platoon" is just a project name, what it is: It's Valkyria Chronicles meets the first Dungeon Seige."

Basically, as long as the pitcher knows what your referencing, X meets Y helps a lot, it creates a picture of what they know to be good already, without you having to say much more, it has the taste of familiarity, and it also kinda states, yeah, that thing was good, but what if we did that...but differently....hopefully better? All in one sentence.

Many a film has been pitched as "Diehard on an X."

It works.

Now, I wanna unpack my idea a little......

I have no idea how I would make it, but basically, I started off with some thoughts on how valkyria chronicles could be improved, it's one of my most favorite games ever....but it has it's faults, nothing that gets in the way of me playing it, just, it could be even more awesome right?

But I wasn't sure how I'd go about addressing how it tends to function in turns until I say a video on dungeon siege, then I immediately recognized what it actually needed to be, an rpg/rts hybrid, where you only control a single platoon, no more, no less, of 20-25 people max, with, like VC, each character having significant back story and a long list of traits, much bugger then what VC did, and they wouldn't trigger in that anime flash frame kind of way, they'd just always be active when applicable. What Dungeon siege has to add is controlling many people at once in that RTS fashion, but each character having stats, and their own adjustable equipment, much like VC.

The game would ultimately be a WW2 or modern day esque RTS (I haven't quite decided setting, but I do want guns, including lots of automatics.) with all those specific character stats and possible perma-death (though, hopefully with VC's critical health state rescue mechanic so it doesn't veer into fire emblem save scummy territory again.)

generally comparing your game to one or two other games is not a good idea; it immediately marks your game as unoriginal/derivative

Originality a certain extent....a myth.

Do you really think most popular works are truly original?

No, all of them have inspirations from other works.

Even Shakespeare adapted his works from older, common stories, or so I'm told, and in turn, many works from derived from his ideas.

But I can assure you I haven't seen anyone really pull off this idea before, these two other games are quite simply the closet I've ever seen come close to that, and they certainly have a lot that could be learned from. Thus, there's still some originality, but with plenty of inspiration from good ideas.

And if doing this is so wrong, why is it hollywood makes so many sequels and such, and they sell....really well?

Execution by a good director is of course critical too (often what makes so many other movies fail.), but that's the point, it matters more how you do it, more then it matters what you long as it's not a half-baked idea. And I've thought out a lot more to this idea then your aware, it's not half-baked.

The problem is that to anyone who hasn't ever played or heard of Valkyria Chronicles or Dungeon Siege, this pitch means absolutely nothing. When you're at a show like PAX, and have 5 seconds to grab someone's attention, saying "X meets Y" isn't going to do it. They'll space out and look at something else that's caught their eye. The "Die Hard on an X" trope also tends to be very limiting due to the literal nature of it. People may think, "Oh so it has Bruce Willis?" or similar narrow-scoped thoughts. There are a hundred different ways this description can be interpreted, and none of them give a clear picture about what the game is, how it plays, or why you're passionate about making it.

Working off your descriptive paragraph, if you eliminate the references to other games and clean up the grammar a little, this is what your pitch looks like:

A World War II RPG/RTS hybrid, where you only control a single platoon of 20-25 people, each with significant backstory and a long list of traits, stats, their own adjustable equipment, and LOTS of automatic weapons.

See how clean that is? Now people know what you're talking about. We've got a genre, we've got a setting, and we've got a clear picture in our mind of how this game is going to play. The point is to focus, and have a clear understanding of what you're making. No one will understand your game if you don't.

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If it's only a single sentence one gets, screw them all. That premise is wrong.

That sentence is just as loaded with things for a person being required to know, as anything else.

Edit: None of these other pitches have remotely interested me, I need to, descriptions, something.

When you're in an elevator, at a show, or pitching to a publisher, you're lucky to even get one sentence, let alone get to show pictures. Time is money.

I'm not a cop, but damn if you didn't steal this thread, which I hoped to be with 1-sentence replies mostly... Also, I must admit that your pitch doesn't say much to me, since I've never played any of those games. That's risky.

My apologies.

I suppose all I can say is that making one sentence pitches isn't for me.