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It crashes instantly through the itch app too?  Hmmmmmm.  And it doesn't throw an error popup?  Does itch give any "Examine the cause of failure" dialog or something when it crashes?

Nope, it just literally opens for half a second, the icon bounces a couple times in the dock, and then the icon closes. If I open it directly, the application remains in the dock but doesn't show any windows or anything (it doesn't seem to be locked up, however) and nothing happens.