Post by Tom4711 in Straight!? comments

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Hello Aaryn! Love your game so much. The characters feel so real to me. Aaand they are gorgeous on top! Kudos to you and your artists.

I was so shocked when Zach lied to Mikhail in the locker room. Story of my life, really. I was about 14 years old when it struck me that I'm gay. My next thought was "No one must know, ever!", sadly. I never hated being gay, though. I mean, how can something that makes me feel so good be a bad thing? But my fear of rejection was too strong. So I avoided the issue or lied outright.

Then there was this boy in my class. I liked him a lot and probably ogled him a bit too obvious :-). One day he confronted me during handicrafts lessons and asked me if I liked him. I said yes, but it came out like "Yes, but not the way you want it". There was someone actually interested in me and I couldn't bring myself to admit openly that I was gay. Not in front of the others. Your game brought all this back and I thought how my life could have changed if I where open with him then.

I was well in my thirties when I finally came out to family and friends. It was a big thing for me then, but most people where like "So what, we suspected it all along!". Funny thing is, I never faced open rejection, it was all in my head. I had my "Years of service" in the gay community, the marching, the partying, working in the gay association. People think usually that I'm fun to have around, but inside still this little voice whispers "No one must know!" and it's so damn hard for me to be open and really close with people.

P.S. If you need any help with translations, spell checking or coding, I'm game :-). I'm German btw. and have some experience with coding projects, published some myself on Nexusmods.com

CottonSheep3 years ago (1 edit) (+1)

Wow. I keep coming back here for players' real-life experiences. I'm glad that you finally confront your inner fear and live the life you want. That's my fight too. Btw, I'm not in the development team but you can reach Aaryn - the developer via Twitter for instant reply.

Tom47113 years ago (3 edits)

Thank you for your reply and all the best wishes for you on your way. We are all in this together, and we don't walk alone!

CottonSheep3 years ago

Thank you so much. The same to you.

Tom47113 years ago (9 edits)

My last reply was somewhat generic and I felt a bit guilty about it :-). I've just read your other posts and how much you had to work through. I'm so happy for you that you have this much psychological insight at your age and good friends to talk to. When I was 21 I had not the faintest inkling of how to handle my feelings and I felt like there was no one I could talk to about it. It took many years for me to work through all this and confront my fears. Times were different then, almost 40 years ago, and information was hard to come by.

CottonSheep3 years ago

I'm so glad to know that you read my story so no need to feel sorry about that 😙 In my darkest days at highschool, I had to deal with my parents, lovers, friends and studying at the same time all by myself, which was way too much for a teenager. Parents checked all my messages without my consent and threatened my boyfriend and me, my boyfriends ditched me 3 times, friends at school verbally harrassed my sexuality (I realize I have that internalized homophobia too) At least, I have been through the worst situation so what could be worse :)))?

I can completely sympathize to your situation when being gay was treated as a sin. In Asia, people are still judgemental about this subject so coming out is always a long story. I even have to make a plan for this :)))) and the worst scenerio might be me being kicked out of my own family 😔

Tom47113 years ago (4 edits)

I can't imagine what it means to live in a hostile environment like that, with everything else you have going on. In Germany things have improved a lot over the years and most people are generally accepting of gays. There's the one or other homophobic politician of cause, but they are heavily leaned on by the media if anything comes out :-)

CottonSheep3 years ago

That's the best dream I can ever think of. The human history has been through countless civil war: race discrimimation, gender equality and now sexual equality. We can't choose the place we are born but we can choose the way we make an impact. Game is tough but players are tougher :)))) And thanks to wholesome games and people I have met, I realize I'm not alone. Even you are in the old society but you still manage to survive and thrive, I believe can do it too.

Tom47113 years ago

I believe in you too, you are a fine guy and you will do good!

CottonSheep3 years ago

Thank you so much <3 Wish you the best.

Aaryn3 years ago

No, thanks for the story. I love people sharing like this. Usually when people complain about the lack of porn in the game, I usually point to messages like this and remind them that I didn't make the game to make them bust--i did it for reasons like this. i wanted people to see a realistic coming of age tale that's really hard for the MC to accept themselves. I wanted to show that sexual journey and ways that someone could overcome internalized homophobia--kinda like what you're talking about. Glad you appreciated it. I def appreciate the story and just hearing that it had an impact on people :)

Tom47113 years ago (5 edits)

Just finished Chapter 9. I like the "brotherly love" / more than a friendship Scene with Zach and Mikhail at the pool. You took a page from Aristotle's philia concept? :-). Regarding porn scenes: there's no end of that on the net, really. But a good story that tickles your imagination is hard to come by. And you got a lot of really strong scenes in the game that left my imagination running wild :-). I made a small contribution on your Patreonsite just to be part of this effort.

Thank you for taking us along on your journey!

Aaryn3 years ago(+1)

Thanks a lot for the contribution but even more thanks for the kind words. It means a lot to me. Comments like this are really validating. It's interesting to see how the market has changed from people demanding porn in the game to that now being the minority opinion--which is exactly what i wanted :)

Tom47113 years ago (4 edits)

I'm glad i could help :-). It never gets old to get constructive feedback on your projects, right?

Can you come over now and hold me tight, please? No? Oh well, I'll have to use my imagination than :-))

itch.io

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