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(Edited 1 time)

Demodemodemodemodemodemodemodemodemodemodemodemo!!! *hyperventilates*

Chieeeeeel this is so greeeeaaaat I can't eveeeeen!!!

Erm.... yeah.

Yesterday I replayed Rama's route twice and I was frustrated because I wanted more of Nusantara content, and when I've checked itch.io... I see the Bermuda Triangle demo is out!!! Oh joy!

I've finished it right now, and now I obviously must comment and give some feedback!

It will contain some SPOILERS, but I don't know if anyone except the dev will have the courage to read such a lenghty comment XD


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I'll start with the negative points, so it'll be out of the way, and then I'll resume the squealing haha! So yeah, a couple of mistakes or weird things:

- When characters are walking, the sound effect for the steps is... how to put it... Too fast / frequent. It sound like a group of people walking. That's okay when it's Maya and the boys, but with only two characters (like when she's walking alongside her dad), it's weird

- Couple of time mistakes at the beginning. When Maya says she has an appointment at 11:00, she says PM (when she talks about it for the first time), but then her mother says 11:00 AM during breakfast. And after breakfast ends, Maya says it's 11:20 so she must go, but I guess it was 10:20, right?

- Now, the one that really hurts... I'm sooo soooo sorry, but I'll be blunt here - the spanish bits are awful... I won't point out the mistakes and weird wording in english since I'm not confident enough in my english and I'm sure enough people will be able to help you. But in spanish at least I can help, so bear with me! When the girl asks for help in finding her mother, you put "ayúdame a encontrar a ella", but the correct form would be "ayúdame a encontrarla". A little while after that, the girl refers to Maya and Kah'lil as big sister and brother. You... really don't say that in spanish. Even actual siblings don't call each other like that, so random strangers... it's... really no. Same goes for the end of the event when Kah'lil speaks with the girl's mother. Even if spanish isn't his language, so he may actually make mistakes, you don't call a random woman auntie, so "tía" is a no-no (it's like calling someone "dude", in english, or something close to that, except if you're talking to your real aunt - or uncle - of course) - he should simply call her "señora". It's even worse since calling someone "tía" or "tío" is some kind of very familiar slang-like thing. It's not an insult, and same age good pals often call each other like that, but it would be disrespectful to call a random woman like that. Also, "¿Cómo podría pagarte alguna vez?" is REALLY weird. In case of an adult speaking to a stranger, the "-te" suffix is weird, you'd use the more formal "-le" ("pagarle"). You should also get rid of the "alguna vez" - it means "sometime", and the whole sentence would mean "how could I pay you (familiar or speaking to a kid) sometime". It would be correct to say "¿Cómo podría pagarle?" Or even "¿Cómo podría pagarle por esto?". "Usted es bienvenido tía, estamos felices de ayudar" is wrong too. "Bienvenido" is masculine, you'd use "bienvenida" for a woman. But it means literally "welcome" as in welcoming someone to a place, so it can't be used here anyway. You'd use "de nada" or "no hay de qué". The correct sentence would be "De nada señora (or "No hay de qué, señora"), estamos felices de ayudar" - and replacing the "tía" for reasons stated above. You might also want to recheck the exclamation and interrogation points, you missed a couple of the opening ones here and there ( ¡ / ¿ ) - I know it's a pain - spanish IS a pain - I lived in Spain for years and my mom still lives there, so yeah... I was fortunate to be very young when we moved there, otherwise I would have suffered a lot to learn it XD. If you ever need proofreading for spanish, french, or polish, feel free to ask me anytime, really - I'm fluent in all three and I'd gladly help you!

- I like the fact Maya does tarot reading! I do sometimes too! But I'm wondering about the method she uses, as I don't recognize it at all. If it's a made up method, that's fine, but I'm a bit bothered by the use of the Death card, since it rarely means literal death - it's often a quite positive card, actually. And the fact she tries so many times makes it worse since I grew more and more irritated each time haha

- And finally, once you get to the point you must choose the duties you do, it seems it's hard to click on the buttons. I mean, they don't always respond - the hunting one was the worst I think - at first I thought it isn't avaible or something - I had to click a lot of times!

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Welp, lots of little things - never pleasant to point out mistakes, but at least it's constructive feedback I guess... So now, onto the good things!

- First of... I LOVE the characters! Oh My God I love them sooo much! I think Guntur is still my favorite at the moment. But remember how I told you before the demo was out that Kah'lil really didn't catch my eye? FORGET. ABOUT. THAT. I fell in love with him the second he interacted with Maya for the first time! He's... so... cute... and.... hnnn <3. I guess at this point Arya became the one I like the less, but I still like him a lot - he simply is that kind of character with whom you need a lot of time to get to know them, so obviously the demo isn't enough. I mean, of course we only know a tiny bit about each boy, but he's obviously the harder one to approach so yeah, I'll have to wait haha!

- It was implied in the previous point, but I love Maya too. She's such a tease, and I always admired pole-dancers, so yeah... I really like her. And it's nice how she's sooo different from Tamara too. Your MCs are so cool! But I also like her family, and the whole family thing actually. For... well... obvious reasons, Tamara wasn't close with her relatives, and the present day part was very short, in Legend of the Winged Ones. But since Maya is sooo close with her family, I really like the fact you get that long intro where you get to experience her day to day life. I found myself curious about but also dreading the day of the second meeting with the Goddess, since I knew it would be awful for Maya. I wish more VN games had that kind of slow starts. It's mostly used in RPGs, but not so much in VNs, and I always liked that.  Anyway, basically, I really enjoyed exploring lots of different options there, and seeing her interact with her family.

- The little note about what Maya is thinking about in the menu is SO FUN! I love that gimmick! It's my first time seeing something like that. I wish the contents would change more often though, but I guess it's hard to do - I mean, it would be lots of work.

- A FRIGGIN YEAR IN GAME?! Now I understand why you said it'll be longer than Legend of the Winged Ones! Can't wait to explore the whole game!

- Yay for timed choices! I love timed choices! And it even has a time bar that is decreasing! (please, you'll have to teach me how to do that once I'll get into the programming of my game haha - I'll need that too since it'll have timed choices!)

- Music and art is great, as always. And I love Kah'lil's twitching ears and moving tail - so cute!

- Mini-game seems fun so far! But I can't have a final opinion with only the easy diffulty level.

- The mirrors are gorgeous!!! (sorry, not so constructive but had to mention that somewhere XD)

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And last, some random comments and questions!

- First of, sorry I can't help for the funding - I'm in a VERY tight spot, money-wise, right now, and I really can't spend a single dollar or anything. But if I get out of that mess, I'll be sure to give at least something!

- Is it possible to meet Guntur before he barges into Maya's garden? I met Arya and Kah'lil before their main encounters ( I mean, you can see them even though you don't interact), but not him. Of course, he may have been in prison and not have any previous encounter, but I wanted to be sure!

- Sooo... 3 love interests and one secret unlockable love interest... Sure, I know about that but... both the love meter page and the gallery page have FIVE sections (well, 6 in the gallery if counting Maya), so... What is that about? A secret-secret love interest? Another character important enough for them to get a love meter and gallery section? Haha, I'm pretty sure you won't answer this one, eh?

- What is the stats' purpose? Is it used to unlock some events? I've noticed each stat has the color of one of the characters, but well, diligence was my higher stat even before the duties were avaible, while Arya was the character I had the least affinity with, so I don't know how much is it related...



Phew, that was one hell of a comment! Sorry about that! You know how much a fan I am, so I couldn't help myself haha! Hope it'll be helpful!

(Edited 1 time)

Konoiiii, I can't thank you enough for helping me with the Spanish translations x'D 
I just woke up and this is the first thing I saw in the morning! It made my day! <3

I've made the changes for the things you told me but can you tell me your email & help me check over the Spanish again? I want to send you a small part of the script where it contains the Spanish + Translation. 

My proofreader & I haven't had the chance to live in Spanish so our knowledge is very limited >< I cringed and laughed at the things you mentioned to be strange/awkward as hell :')) This scene is the only time where Kahlil speak Spanish, so your help will be greatly appreciated :'D

As for the hard clicking on the status raising screen... Now this is new O.O; are you sure it's not your mouse acting up? x'D //hammer 
My mouse is very old and lost the sensitivity of its right click so I got a hard time clicking on things too, so maybe...? This is quite problematic since everything works okay in the ren'py so I don't know what I can do about it >< maybe try playing it in window mode? It might lessen the program's burden.

The other problem seems to be minor. I will reduce the walking sfx then since you're the second person who tell me this.

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I also laughed out loud at some of the things you mention you love x'D

The other day, a person told me the introduction about Maya's family is too long but then the next day, you told me you love the long introduction lol. I guess you either hate it or love it x'DD

Also, thanks you as always for giving all the bachelors a chance! Ah, Guntur's popularity is going up as expected <3 
But gosh, the demo is not enough for you!? Woman, it's almost 4 times longer than Winged One's demo! x'DD *lol, I think I'm spamming this emoticon right now, but really, I'm having that expression a lot while writing this*

Oh and don't worry! I will tell you the code for the timed choices as a reward for the Spanish translation ;)

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Last but not least, here's my answers to your questions:

- Don't worry about the funding! The fact that you care enough about it to write this HUGE review is more than enough for me :'D 

- Nope, there is no alternate scene for meeting Guntur :'))

- Welp, the fifth love interest is a stretch goal I set in Indiegogo! Scroll down to see who he is! If the stretch goal is not reached, then I guess the fifth space will stay empty u.u

- The stats will help you determine which bachelor route you're going to be in. So aside from high affection, high compatible status will be used to determine it + it might be the key to unlock happy ending ;) But if you choose Kahlil and decided to raise Combat (which is a compatible status for Guntur), the system will determine which bachelor route you're going to be in by affection points. However, this will automatically lead you to a sad ending u.u

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Thanks again for visiting and pointing my mistakes, Konoi!

I'll await your answer about your email address for the Spanish translation checking :'3

xoxo,
SweetChiel

Glad I can help you with the Spanish bits! I'll give you my email by note on DeviantArt, since I don't like it being randomly published here, even though it's not that much of a secret either... oh well... XD

And I've checked the last maybe-to-be bachelor! He looks very cool - hope you'll get enough with the  funding so you can reach that goal. But well, even if you don't I'm sure the game will be amazing anyway!

As for the hard clicking, no, definitely not my mouse. It disconnect sometimes, yeah, but the sensitivity and all is fine. After all, I don't have any issues with other games or even other menus and selections in Bermuda, so well... I don't think my mouse would selectively malfunction for that XD - but maybe something went wrong when I extracted the game...? I'll try re-downloading it later!

And I see, about the stats. Well, it's interesting! I'm not fond of stat raising in VNs, but it seems pretty casual - I've managed with very hard ones so I'm sure I'll be fine!