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Konoi

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A member registered 330 days ago

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Oh, that's cool! I really liked the setting and characters, so I'll gladly read it if you put it online - and of course I'll be happy to play the updated game!

Oh wow, that's nice of you! I'm so happy I can apply for that since I've purchased way before the end of 2016! And that new game looks AWESOME! Must download demo NAW!

You made my day!

A very sweet game you created here!

I wish it was longer actually, with more branching options during the dates and actual "routes" with various outcomes, instead of a single true ending with only one specific character. Now, I'm not actually saying it as a bad thing - the game doesn't feel incomplete or lacking - it's more like I really liked the game and I'd love to have more of it haha!

Hi there! So! I've played this game because I try out most of this yaoi jam's games (I really like this year's jam!), and this one didn't disapoint either!

It's a very disturbing game overall, obviously with that kind of story and setting. It's hard to delve too far into the story given that the demo isn't very long, but it made me very curious about the full release. The characters are interesting so far, and I'm really curious about the way their relationship will evolve. I guess you're planning at least two endings, right?

Since the story is creepy and bleak (il a good way!), I don't really have high hopes, but will it have at least one good('ish) ending? If you want to tell, of course!

I tend to be very interested in stories that depict Stockholm syndrome, and I like to observe how is it depicted, so I've decided to pick the most positive responses to Clement (and the thing about him maybe being able to change for the last choice). In most games I'd feel guilty for choosing this path since it isn't really good for the main character, obviously, but in this case, since they are the only two survivors on Earth, as far as we know so far, it puts things in a different perspective. It's still somewhat sick and induces uneasiness, but well, I assume it was your goal with that kind of story haha!

Even though I'm curious, I don't think I'll try a different approach until you release the full game and I finish playing it with the kind of answers I was picking so far. So yeah, I can't very well comment on the other "routes" ATM.

And lastly, I must say the art style is so very unique and pretty! And it suits the story sooo well. It reminds me of some old vintage paintings or illustrations. Really neat! I can't wait to see it with proper backgrounds and accompanied with music. Are you planning to get original music composed or will you use "stock" tracks, by the way?


Okay, that was long! Hope I didn't get you bored here! Good luck with the full release of the game!

Okay, thank you! Then I'll comment again once I'll play it!

The status of the game says "prototype" - is it a finished story anyway, or is it more like a demo? I'm curious about it anyway, but I'd like to know beforehand - so I won't be expecting a full game if it isn't haha!

Thank you!

Figured so, about the other ending - so yeah, definitely I'll stick with the one I got - but it's nice to know for sure, thanks!

So many nice games in this yaoi jam! This one made me so happy! Maybe it's because I have written a yaoi romance between a spider and a fly some years ago, but it didn't end so well, so I dunno... I guess the ending I got here made me even happier because of that! Yeah, seems a bit stupid, but oh well XD

Anyway, the characters were quite interesting overall, and I liked their mostly greyscale designs - very fitting for the concept. 

As you may have guessed with what I said a moment ago, I got only one of the endings. Well, I could have tried to get both, but I'm very satisfied with the one I got, and when I'm SO happy with an ending, I know getting another one would only tarnish the experience, so yeah, maybe later, I'll see about that.

I really like predator-prey romances that are not entirely based on shock and/or domination. Unfortunately that's often the case, and it's nice to see another approach - though I guess it depends of your choices to a certain degree, but anyway.

The art style itself is not really my cup of tea (even though, as mentionned before, I like the designs), but it didn't bother me either, so no problem here. On the other hand, I really liked the musical choices. I know it's free music and may be replaced at some point, but if you do, I think keeping the same mood / style would be a good idea.

Also, I rarely comment on that, but very interesting mature scene haha - I guess it's because of the characters' unique anatomy, but it was I nice touch!


Overall, a pleasant little game! Congrats!

I LOVE your devlogs so much, seriously!

As I'm working on a VN too, but I'm only in the very early stages right now (designing the characters, writing the story and so on) and I've never done anything like that before, it really helps me out to have information beforehand about how people do the actual coding and programming!

And not to mention, I'm always happy to know about the game's progress haha!

By the way, I'm about to play your yaoi-jam game, so expect some feedback from me about that too!

I see! Thank you very much!

Definitely, seems very interesting!

This game seems very promising - the story is interesing so far, the characters are cool and the art is nice too. Though the demo is a bit too short for me to be able to really make a review or truly constructive feedback, I still have a question or two. Of course, there is no pressure in answering if for some reasons you'd rather not tell!

So here I go!

First, I'm curious about the type of story. I mean, I see the tags say comedy, fantasy and visual novel, but I can't deduce a lot from that. Will it be mostly an investigation focused only on finding the truth behind the main character's situation, or will it have more things to it? Or is it maybe a romance focused story where you pursue one character or another? Or a mix of the two? I can't very well tell only with the demo...

On another hand, I'm very intrigued when you say the main characters are bound to each other in a manner determined by the player. Does that actually mean both exist no matter who you choose at the beginning at the story, but as the game goes on you decide what links them? Like for example, they could have been siblings or lovers, or ennemies or whatever?

And also, will the story have only good endings, or also bad ones? It's always interesting to see bad endings in games, but not every dev likes to write that kind of things. And while I'm at it, bad endings are one thing, but the question includes game overs too - as in a sudden dead end or ending simply because you did a bad choice or failed something or whatever.


Hope you didn't mind the questions haha! Good luck with your project - I'll be following the progress!

How dare you make something so cute?!

Haha, sorry, I had to! To be honest, I only did Roswell's ending so far because I fell in love with him the moment I saw him, but it was so damn cute! Of course it's short and simple, but it's a lovely little game that made me smile a lot. I'll have to try out the other endings at some point.

And I must say I LOVE the art. The style is very pretty and quite unique, not to mention the very original character designs.

For such a short game made in a month, it's really worth playing, so congrats!

Aw, I'm glad my feedback was well recieved! And I've actually already followed the tumblr because I'm a big stalker haha

I've played the demo and oh my... I don't even know where to start...

Your game is incredible. I'm utterly stunned by it. I've never seen that kind of plot, or at least not with the main character being the one suffering that kind of problems - usually it would rather be a romanceable character, and the main character would have to help them, if doing their route. Seeing that kind of role reversal is delightful.

I've really enjoyed the writing style, and the music choices and art style complement it very well. The music conveys all the right emotions in a very subtle non-invasive way, and the character sprites are expressive and nice.

And the feels! It may be the first demo ever to genuinely bring me to the verge of tears, so I can't even imagine what it'll be in the full version! Ren is a great character, so unusual for a MC as I've already mentionned above, and I really like Haru and the three patrons so far too. The cute little brother is one thing, but you did a really good job in making the players attached to character you can't even actually see so far.


I really can't wait for the full version of this. You did an outstanding job and made me really happy with this game, even though the subject is very hard and heartbreaking. Thank you very much for creating this! And good luck with the full version of the project!

(Edited 1 time)

Okay, I'm already done with the new demo, so commenting as promised!

Also

SPOILERS AHEAD, mainly for people who aren't the devs and didn't play the previous version!


So, first off, I must say I really enjoyed the writing now. Even if I'm not the best judge as english isn't my language, I still can see it's a lot better now. The new characters' sprites are also gorgeous, and the overall thing is just glorious. I'm really thrilled about the full version of this!

Now about the newcomers among the romanceable characters. Ellis is such a lovely character. He's very interesting, and it's really nice that he actually doesn't want to marry - he goes really well with the rest of the cast, since each one of them has really different motivations and ambitions. I also can't wait to learn more about his brothers and all the mess about them. And Nicholl... well, Nicholl is still my favorite, so I can't even express how overjoyed I am with his route, even if it's only the beginning. I was wondering about where would this route go, since he's not one of the suitors per se, and I love it so far, it's so intriguing! And since now he and Charming have a lot more interractions than before, I love their relationship even more. 

And now, as you may have expected, I need to talk about Mer, of course, as usual, yeah I'm obsessed, yada yada XD - aaanyway! Yeah, I can see the improvement on the writing here, and my worries are eased so far - it was so great and I'm incredibly excited about it. I also really really like how the talk about the body exchange goes at the beginning - when Nicholl wants to trade bodies with Charming. The flow of this conversation is great. I must admit I don't recall if this conversation was in there in the old version, and I'm too lazy to check it out right now, but if it was, obviously it wasn't as impacting as now. Knowing the truth about Mer and what happens at the end of the route, even if it may have been altered a bit for the new version, I think you really did a great job writing that scene. 

I'm really curious if he'll stay my favorite route in this new version or if I'll like Nicholl's route more, as I like him more as a character. We'll see when you'll be done with the full release I guess! Can't wait for it!


Thank you for the great expansion! Good work and good luck with finishing the project!

Oh I see! Glad to know - both about the fact it's mostly the writing that is updated, not the story, and about the fact that it won't overwrite the old version!

And don't worry, I would have no sense for me to redistribute the old version, and I can totally understand you'd want only the new one to be on the net!

Also, I must say I'm relieved the character you kept after the issues was Ellis instead of Beau. I loved Beau, but I like Ellis more I think, and his new design is gorgeous, so yeah, even if it's sad to see the scale of the project reduced, I think you made the best choice here.

I'll comment again either on tumblr or on the game's page here once I'm done with the demo, so I can say what I think about it. Should be pretty soon!

Oh, finally the new demo is out! I'm so happy! I'll play it as soon as I can!

Though, looking at the features, I see Mer's route has been almost entirely rewritten, wich makes me really anxious since I was madly in love with his route before. I know sometimes when I download a new version of a Ren'Py game, it still can access my previous save states and all... I'd like to be able to replay the old version too just in case I like his old route more, but I'm a bit worried - won't the new version interfere with it in any way?

Aw, that's nice of you, thank you! But unfortunately I live in France, so yeah, a biiit too far haha

Yeah, well, lots of issues and work hunting, basically. I can only hope I'll find something fast

Nice to know you still manage to get things done, even if it's slow! Good luck with the project and the things you have to do IRL. 

I wish I could help you somehow, but I too have so many things on my mind right now...

Well, I can see your worries about Tirs - it seems legit, but I think the way he is makes him really interesting and you get easily attached to him. Of course I speak for myself, but I really like characters that are actually bad at relationships, and when part of the plot is them managing to get past it. The problem is, almost always when a MC is bad at relationships, it means they don't have any experience, rather than having experience but being bad because of some other reason. I don't think a shy and unexperienced hero is lame per se, but it's very refreshing to see someone like Tirs!

Aaah! I can't believe the demo is out! So happy right now!

I've actually finished playing it once, and I must say I really love the art style, even more than I thought before. And I love Tirs... A. LOT. Haha!

Seriously, it's great to have a hero you can really like. I mean, it's sad when you don't care about the hero or, worse, if you hate him or her, right?

Now, one thing that was bothering me in the demo is the lack of option to adjust the text speed. I usually set it up pretty fast, but not immediate, so I had to choose between clicking and making it appear right away even if I don't like that, or letting it appear too slow for my tastes. I choose the former option, but I'd still like to be able to make it appear faster. I think that's my only complaint actually. I mean, I'd like all the BG art to be drawn and not photomanips, but I assume this will be done in time, right? The photos feel like placeholders, and you told there will be some on your tumblr, so yeah.

Speaking of what you were saying on your tumblr, you wanted to know our favorite boy so far, right?

Honestly, I want to say it's Tirs haha! But I know you're talking about the romance options, soo... Well, it isn't Marc, because he isn't my type, and I hardly ever like professor-student romances anyway, so even if he looks very handsome, he really isn't up my alley. Now, between Pol and Biel, it's a bit harder. I haven't seen Biel a lot in the demo, but he's exacty my type, usually at least. The thing is, for some reason I can't really understand, I love Pol quite a lot. I shouldn't, because I don't like the childhood friend type characters (I know it isn't exactly childhood here, but I think you get what I mean), and uh... I dunno, he shouldn't be my type overall, to be honest. But I can't help liking him a lot and really wanting him to be happy. He seems to be already somewhat in love with Tirs and struggling with that, and the way he does is really touching in a way. Sooo... on the long run, I may like Biel more than Pol, but so far I'll stick with Pol I think.


Oh and also, if I may suggest something... While I like the fact you give the option to skip or view adult scenes - it's always neat when people are able to choose - wouldn't it be more convenient to add an option to simply enable or disable adult/suggestive content in the options? I mean, you can still leave the prompts in game when adult content is enabled, that way people who wouldn't want to see some specific scenes can avoid them. I mean, I'll play with adult content enabled and I'm not planning on skipping anything, so it won't affect me in any way, but I dunno, I feel like I would feel unconfortable if I actually didn't want to see any adult content, but the game prompted me to choose each time. Something like "I don't want to know about that stuff, but now I KNOW it's there, and the intensity of it! Ugh!". Well, I actually don't know if people would feel that way, but if I didn't want to see adult content at all I'd do. Maybe you could make a poll or something asking about that? Well, if you feel it's a sensible idea, of course - as I told, it's only a suggestion.


Anyway, to sum it up, I really liked the demo - I didn't mention the story so far, since it's only the beginning, but it's promising and I can't wait to know more about it. Juggling between Tirs's professional life and his sentimental one won't be easy, I'm already sure of it, but I can't wait to give it a try in the full version!

So yeah, thanks for creating such a promising game and sharing the demo so soon! I'll be waiting eagerly for new updates! Already stalking the tumblr anyway haha!

(Edited 1 time)

Oh my god, I can't believe it! Haha I though "maybe" people can die at some point, but seeing that... Wow!

By the way, I'm more or less halfway through Arantis's route, so I'll probably "report" about that soon!


Edit: yeah, everyone survived in my playthrough, forgot to mention it, but I guess it seems obvious from my answer. I really didn't want anyone to die if I could avoid it, so yeah...

Haha, I'm glad you say I understood the game so well! Makes me happy!

Even though I wanted to wait before replaying, since I've finished another game in the meantime to clear my mind, I guess I'll be able to try Arantis's route sooner than expected, actually! Though, as I said, I'll go deeper into the routes once I'll finish them all (well, all the good endings at least). But I'll probably comment anyway once I'll be done with him.

On a side note, is it possible for people to die in the game? I'm pretty sure Lysadra or Xander can die at the end depending on how friendly their relationship is - in my case Lysandra wanted to do it, but Xander decided to intervene, and in the end both survived (wich I guess is the key for his good ending, by the way). But I have a feeling Osario and Arantis could die too, am I right? Since I knew Osario liked Lysandra a lot, while Arantis a bit less, I've left Arantis to deal with Adrien, and took Osario with the team for the final battle, then refused to follow Xander's plan during the climax. I simply don't have the heart to try and do something else since it may mean someone's death, but I still want to know haha

(Edited 1 time)

I've just finished the first playthrough of this game. And oh my dear god I'm so in love with it I can't even begin to put words on it!

I usually comment only after I'm done playing all the routes I wanted to play - and yes, sometimes I'm only planning on playing one route - but this time I'll make an exception and comment after only one route, even if I'm going to play all of them. The main reason is that the game is very long and very emotion loaded. Because of that, I need to take a break from it in order to let my feelings and my heart cool down before I play again, or I'll feel too guilty for doing another character's route haha!

Before I go deeper into the review, I'll start with non spoilery more technical things. Well, I've seen people tell that before, but the grammar needs some work. Now, since english isn't my language either, it didn't really bother me or hinder the experience, and I wouldn't be able to correct it anyway (I'm pretty sure I do my fair share or grammatical errors too haha). The art style is not really up my alley, but it's pretty nicely done and the characters are quite expressive, wich is the most important thing. Their designs are also lovely. And the music is gorgeous! I know it's freeware, but I really like the selection - it fits the mood perfectly!


And now, the part that contains SPOILERS! Be warned if you're reading this even if you're not the dev nor have finished the game!

So, I've decided to start with Casimir! And I must say the choice was difficult! Xander was not an option since I've avoided looking too in depth at the screencaps here, and I didn't read the comments before playing, so I didn't really know who was the fourth character. Because of that, I've decided for a first playthrough one of the boys from the party would be the best. But honestly, even having decided that, it was still hard as hell, because I love them all! So yeah, since I've decided to play Lysandra as a nice girl, I've tried to be the nicest possible to all of them anyway, and make my decision with the flow of the story... And I ended up getting naturally drawn to Casimir. I guess even if I love them all, he's really the one and only that would by my character type. And oh dear, he's so noble, gentle and cute at the same time - he's an awesome character and a great prince and I love him to no end haha!

I guess Casimir IS my favorite character, but it's hard to tell before doing the other routes. I mean, I'm pretty sure I understand Arantis and Osario fairy well now, and I'm certain I won't have any trouble getting their good endings now  (as Casimir is my type, his route was very easy for me even on the first try), but it's never the same when you "understand" the character versus when you actually do their routes, so yeah. And then... we have Xander... and oh dear, he's so great too. And he broke my heart so hard... I'm pretty sensitive to amnesia in fiction - it's often such a pet peeve for me that it already happened I simply didn't play a game because amnesia was too important in it. But when I choose to play, I get easily very emotional. And well, I had the feeling I could almost feel myself Xanders pain at seeing how his one and only love doesn't remember him, and how she now loves another man. He literally made me cry even when I wasn't actually doing his route. And making Lysandra tell him she's sorry but she now loves another man was one of the most difficult choices I had to do in videogames. Ever. It had to be done, but the pain... oh the pain...

I guess I have to leave Xander's route and do it last. The guilt would be too big if I did another route after doing his, so yeah... I guess Arantis will be the next one. I don't know if I like him or Osario better, but his route seems slighly harder - may as well do it next.

Speaking of difficulty, I must say I LOVE the amount of choices the game offers! You did a great job with allowing the player to shape Lysandra's mindset and opinions about life, people, love and so on. It was sooo enjoyable. And also, it allowed to really shape the relationships and interactions between the characters as please. The characters really feel alive thanks to that! But at the same time, it didn't make the game too difficult wich would have been annoying since it's so long. Congrats on that!

Another thing I really enjoyed was the fact you didn't put any "secondary romances". I really dislike when characters end up with someone else if you don't do their routes. Some games do that, but to me it feels like in the end, the route you do doesn't matter since an NPC will be able to do exactly the same as you for the character, in the end. And also, the game's very title "Second Chance". I'm genuinely happy the title isn't only about Lysandra's second chance at life after the amnesia, but also about everyone else's second chances. Casimir who lost his first love, Arantis who was betrayed by the one he loved, Osario who was only used by the person he wanted to notice him and respect him... And of course Xander who already lost Lysandra once. 


Okay... I feel like I'm writing a book about your game at this point haha! I think I should stop now!

So yeah, to conclude this gigantic comment, I want to thank you again for making this game. I really enjoyed every bit of it, and it may be one of my favorite otome games ever. I'll probably comment after playing each other route, so expect more from me! Though I'll probably get more into depths about the routes once I'm done with all of them. It would be better.

Anyway, thank you again for the wonderful experience!

I wish I could have sent you something. Ah, damn life getting in the way of gaming, right?

Anyway, even if I can't send money, at least tell me if I can help in any other way!

Checked the walkthrough and yeah, I've seen it all, then! Thank you!

Glad I could help with fixing a bug! I'll re-download when I want to play again! And also, I'm happy to know you're planning to use the characters again - I really like them all!

A very interesting game, I must say! Unique concept indeed. I'll try to be as spoiler free as possible, if people who haven't played the game read this, so I may seem quite vague at some point, but I'm pretty sure the game's creators will understand pretty well what I'm talking about haha!

The art style is very sweet, and I love the characters' expressions. The setting is nice too, though it would have been nice to get to know it better, but well, the game is very short, so it makes sense we don't see that much of it.

It took me a while to understand the game's gimmick about the endings, because I started with Jeremy's route, and there was an error if you choose to tell him he must have nice plans or something like that instead of talking about grades. I was able to "ignore" the issue, but I was worried something didn't trigger, locking me onto one ending. Fortunately, I've tried the other characters later, and it helped. Still, I'm curious - does the game have only true and bad endings, or can I find a "good" (or other) one too, somewhere? That true ending was too heartbreaking, oh dear!

I was really surprised at the explanations at the end, though. When going through the boys' routes, I was pretty sure that what happened at the end was because Kale wasn't convincing enough when going back to the dorm and because of the "failure" that happened. It was very interesting to actually making it the opposite.

Aaah it's finally out! I've been waiting for it for such a long time! Going to play as soon as I can, and I'll be back to tell what I think!

Very interesting game, both story and art wise!

So far, I've played only once, and, if referring to your answer to a previous commenter, got the Beach Ending? I think so at least? A bit weird since I was pretty sure I got high affection - I guess I messed up XD

I think a proper guide to the game would be helpful, even though I'm planning to try harder when I get the time!

Anyway, it was a cool game!

Very sweet story!

From what I understand from your "additional comments", you may add a confession and ending scene, and maybe some special ones? It would really benefit from that, since it becomes a bit repetitive the time you manage to build up your relationship, and I think it would be nice to at least have a confession and some kind of ending. Or does it have an ending but no special ending scene? If it has one, I didn't reach it, but that furthers my point - some special scenes would be great so people won't stop playing thinking there is nothing else to see, like I did.

Anyway, I'm eager to see possible updates!

Glad I can help you with the Spanish bits! I'll give you my email by note on DeviantArt, since I don't like it being randomly published here, even though it's not that much of a secret either... oh well... XD

And I've checked the last maybe-to-be bachelor! He looks very cool - hope you'll get enough with the  funding so you can reach that goal. But well, even if you don't I'm sure the game will be amazing anyway!

As for the hard clicking, no, definitely not my mouse. It disconnect sometimes, yeah, but the sensitivity and all is fine. After all, I don't have any issues with other games or even other menus and selections in Bermuda, so well... I don't think my mouse would selectively malfunction for that XD - but maybe something went wrong when I extracted the game...? I'll try re-downloading it later!

And I see, about the stats. Well, it's interesting! I'm not fond of stat raising in VNs, but it seems pretty casual - I've managed with very hard ones so I'm sure I'll be fine!

I think at this point, finishing the game with female MC and male Kuro would be the best - the other options will be more like an extra!

And yeah, from what I've seen of the story so far, it would be weird to put another true romance option, though I get what you mean with the one route with a romance that isn't a true romance. I think it may be interesting for many reasons, for example to see Kuro's reactions. Honestly, I don't think I would like to romance anyone else in this game anyway - at least "seriously". He's a great character and I'm really interested in the romance, so yeah...


And also, thank you for following me! I'm not ready yet to post public things about my game as I have a lot of work to do before, but well, you'll obviously get notified when I'll publish something!

(Edited 1 time)

Demodemodemodemodemodemodemodemodemodemodemodemo!!! *hyperventilates*

Chieeeeeel this is so greeeeaaaat I can't eveeeeen!!!

Erm.... yeah.

Yesterday I replayed Rama's route twice and I was frustrated because I wanted more of Nusantara content, and when I've checked itch.io... I see the Bermuda Triangle demo is out!!! Oh joy!

I've finished it right now, and now I obviously must comment and give some feedback!

It will contain some SPOILERS, but I don't know if anyone except the dev will have the courage to read such a lenghty comment XD


-----------------------------------------------------------------------


I'll start with the negative points, so it'll be out of the way, and then I'll resume the squealing haha! So yeah, a couple of mistakes or weird things:

- When characters are walking, the sound effect for the steps is... how to put it... Too fast / frequent. It sound like a group of people walking. That's okay when it's Maya and the boys, but with only two characters (like when she's walking alongside her dad), it's weird

- Couple of time mistakes at the beginning. When Maya says she has an appointment at 11:00, she says PM (when she talks about it for the first time), but then her mother says 11:00 AM during breakfast. And after breakfast ends, Maya says it's 11:20 so she must go, but I guess it was 10:20, right?

- Now, the one that really hurts... I'm sooo soooo sorry, but I'll be blunt here - the spanish bits are awful... I won't point out the mistakes and weird wording in english since I'm not confident enough in my english and I'm sure enough people will be able to help you. But in spanish at least I can help, so bear with me! When the girl asks for help in finding her mother, you put "ayúdame a encontrar a ella", but the correct form would be "ayúdame a encontrarla". A little while after that, the girl refers to Maya and Kah'lil as big sister and brother. You... really don't say that in spanish. Even actual siblings don't call each other like that, so random strangers... it's... really no. Same goes for the end of the event when Kah'lil speaks with the girl's mother. Even if spanish isn't his language, so he may actually make mistakes, you don't call a random woman auntie, so "tía" is a no-no (it's like calling someone "dude", in english, or something close to that, except if you're talking to your real aunt - or uncle - of course) - he should simply call her "señora". It's even worse since calling someone "tía" or "tío" is some kind of very familiar slang-like thing. It's not an insult, and same age good pals often call each other like that, but it would be disrespectful to call a random woman like that. Also, "¿Cómo podría pagarte alguna vez?" is REALLY weird. In case of an adult speaking to a stranger, the "-te" suffix is weird, you'd use the more formal "-le" ("pagarle"). You should also get rid of the "alguna vez" - it means "sometime", and the whole sentence would mean "how could I pay you (familiar or speaking to a kid) sometime". It would be correct to say "¿Cómo podría pagarle?" Or even "¿Cómo podría pagarle por esto?". "Usted es bienvenido tía, estamos felices de ayudar" is wrong too. "Bienvenido" is masculine, you'd use "bienvenida" for a woman. But it means literally "welcome" as in welcoming someone to a place, so it can't be used here anyway. You'd use "de nada" or "no hay de qué". The correct sentence would be "De nada señora (or "No hay de qué, señora"), estamos felices de ayudar" - and replacing the "tía" for reasons stated above. You might also want to recheck the exclamation and interrogation points, you missed a couple of the opening ones here and there ( ¡ / ¿ ) - I know it's a pain - spanish IS a pain - I lived in Spain for years and my mom still lives there, so yeah... I was fortunate to be very young when we moved there, otherwise I would have suffered a lot to learn it XD. If you ever need proofreading for spanish, french, or polish, feel free to ask me anytime, really - I'm fluent in all three and I'd gladly help you!

- I like the fact Maya does tarot reading! I do sometimes too! But I'm wondering about the method she uses, as I don't recognize it at all. If it's a made up method, that's fine, but I'm a bit bothered by the use of the Death card, since it rarely means literal death - it's often a quite positive card, actually. And the fact she tries so many times makes it worse since I grew more and more irritated each time haha

- And finally, once you get to the point you must choose the duties you do, it seems it's hard to click on the buttons. I mean, they don't always respond - the hunting one was the worst I think - at first I thought it isn't avaible or something - I had to click a lot of times!

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Welp, lots of little things - never pleasant to point out mistakes, but at least it's constructive feedback I guess... So now, onto the good things!

- First of... I LOVE the characters! Oh My God I love them sooo much! I think Guntur is still my favorite at the moment. But remember how I told you before the demo was out that Kah'lil really didn't catch my eye? FORGET. ABOUT. THAT. I fell in love with him the second he interacted with Maya for the first time! He's... so... cute... and.... hnnn <3. I guess at this point Arya became the one I like the less, but I still like him a lot - he simply is that kind of character with whom you need a lot of time to get to know them, so obviously the demo isn't enough. I mean, of course we only know a tiny bit about each boy, but he's obviously the harder one to approach so yeah, I'll have to wait haha!

- It was implied in the previous point, but I love Maya too. She's such a tease, and I always admired pole-dancers, so yeah... I really like her. And it's nice how she's sooo different from Tamara too. Your MCs are so cool! But I also like her family, and the whole family thing actually. For... well... obvious reasons, Tamara wasn't close with her relatives, and the present day part was very short, in Legend of the Winged Ones. But since Maya is sooo close with her family, I really like the fact you get that long intro where you get to experience her day to day life. I found myself curious about but also dreading the day of the second meeting with the Goddess, since I knew it would be awful for Maya. I wish more VN games had that kind of slow starts. It's mostly used in RPGs, but not so much in VNs, and I always liked that.  Anyway, basically, I really enjoyed exploring lots of different options there, and seeing her interact with her family.

- The little note about what Maya is thinking about in the menu is SO FUN! I love that gimmick! It's my first time seeing something like that. I wish the contents would change more often though, but I guess it's hard to do - I mean, it would be lots of work.

- A FRIGGIN YEAR IN GAME?! Now I understand why you said it'll be longer than Legend of the Winged Ones! Can't wait to explore the whole game!

- Yay for timed choices! I love timed choices! And it even has a time bar that is decreasing! (please, you'll have to teach me how to do that once I'll get into the programming of my game haha - I'll need that too since it'll have timed choices!)

- Music and art is great, as always. And I love Kah'lil's twitching ears and moving tail - so cute!

- Mini-game seems fun so far! But I can't have a final opinion with only the easy diffulty level.

- The mirrors are gorgeous!!! (sorry, not so constructive but had to mention that somewhere XD)

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And last, some random comments and questions!

- First of, sorry I can't help for the funding - I'm in a VERY tight spot, money-wise, right now, and I really can't spend a single dollar or anything. But if I get out of that mess, I'll be sure to give at least something!

- Is it possible to meet Guntur before he barges into Maya's garden? I met Arya and Kah'lil before their main encounters ( I mean, you can see them even though you don't interact), but not him. Of course, he may have been in prison and not have any previous encounter, but I wanted to be sure!

- Sooo... 3 love interests and one secret unlockable love interest... Sure, I know about that but... both the love meter page and the gallery page have FIVE sections (well, 6 in the gallery if counting Maya), so... What is that about? A secret-secret love interest? Another character important enough for them to get a love meter and gallery section? Haha, I'm pretty sure you won't answer this one, eh?

- What is the stats' purpose? Is it used to unlock some events? I've noticed each stat has the color of one of the characters, but well, diligence was my higher stat even before the duties were avaible, while Arya was the character I had the least affinity with, so I don't know how much is it related...



Phew, that was one hell of a comment! Sorry about that! You know how much a fan I am, so I couldn't help myself haha! Hope it'll be helpful!

Well, having only one romance may be an issue - honestly, it really depends on how it's done, so yeah... In this case, I really like it!

And yay for bad endings! I'm writing my own game too, even though it'll have all gender romances (choice between a male or a female MC, and all gender options for both), but I'm also putting a lot in the overall plot and bad endiiiings! Bad endings are so fun to write haha

(Edited 1 time)

Finished playing this demo right now, and I must say it was a big surprise, and a real blast too haha!

So yeah, first things first, I usually really dislike games that don't have custom art (well, at least custom sprites). It bothers me when different styles are used, or when I see the same "characters" in various games. I mean, I understand why would you do that - not everyone can draw and / or commission artists. But while I'm not picky about art quality, using stock sprites is something that I can't get over... Now, as I said, "usually". I mean, it still bothers me here, but normally I wouldn't have even tried this game after seeing that. But it was SO intriguing that it was enough to make me bear with it and play anyway. And man I'm glad I did! Even though I can't wait for the updated art with expressions added for everyone and so on, I still got SO immersed that I almost forgot about the stock sprites! So kudos to that! And I also have to mention I like your music choices, especially for the mage chapter.


Now, back to what actually wanted to say. This game is really unique in so many things. 

First of, I don't believe I've ever seen a game with a concept like this one, with this weird thing about travelling through different worlds and having a different backstory each time - even if it actually is part of a bigger plan, but still. I mean, I've played my fair share of games with travelling between worlds, but not executed that way. It was really refreshing! I really want to know what the hell is happening there!

It's also well... quite amazing that you've managed to make this into some kind of twisted and creepy magical girl!

Now, obviously, I have to mention Kuro. He's so demented oh dear, I can't even believe you put him as the (only!) love interest! Now, don't take me wrong, I wasn't complaining - I think he's awesome! I mean, he's creepy and twisted, but awesome. I like how he's written, and I like the fact he's the polar opposite of what you'd expect from the MC's love interest in that kind of story. Their relationship seem so unhealty and so sincere at the same time - it's really weird.  Now, I'm used to otome games and I like characters like Kuro, so the only bad endings I got were from sheer curiosity (I didn't even try one in the Student chapter) - because of that, I guess I'm missing on lots of hints about the overall plot, but I still got to see that fascinating, sad and horrific thing when you choose to go downstairs (won't spoil the details, you know what I mean haha) . Thanks to this specific bad ending, I'm even more curious about Kuro.

It's also very interesting to see the MC being already in a relationship from the very beginning of a game. I don't believe I've ever seen that done before, unless it's an unsteady relationship where you'll end up deciding if she'll stay with the guy or fall in love with someone else - so it would still be a basically regular otome. I mean, it must exist in at least some game, but not that I know about, and since I've played lots of otome and BL games, I know what I'm talking about haha

Also, did I mention I love Kuro's voice acting? Well, now I did!


So yeah, basically, a very intriguing game that manages to keep me on edge and get me crazy involved.

Can't wait for the next demos and, of course, the full release! Keep up the good work and good luck. And also thank you for making this game!

Wow... this game just made me cry. But in a good way, don't worry! Just... the feels... oh my, the feels...

I got the true end, and it was so amazing and made me so happy! I kind of started playing only because I had nothing else to do, but I don't regret one second of it. The way the characters are fleshed out, the glimpses you get of the world, the story progression... it was great from start to end.

I will probably play it again, even though I'm not planning on trying to get the other endings since I got the best one and I'm in love with it. But well, when I can't force myselt to do any other ending than the first one I got in a game it means it was so perfect that I feel totally fulfilled, so that's fine.

And well... Fulfilling is a good word for describing the ending. It was sweet and lovely, but not too sugary or mellow. More often than not, when you finish a visual novel or text adventure game, even with your favorite ending, there is at least one little thing that bothers you or that you'd like to be slighly different. Here, I wouldn't want anything to be any different - it was perfect.

Well, I feel like I simply repeat the same things at this point sooo... I guess I'll end it now? Anyway, this game really made me feel better even though I have lors of troubles in my life right now. It was truly a great moment, so thank you very much!

Very interesting and actually unsettling text adventure!

I don't usually play the browser games / text adventures, but something in this one appealed to me, and I don't regret it for one second!


And now, SPOILERS AHEAD!


I got the creepy as hell but still great ending where he's a venomous human eating creature that uses the main character to get him prey. And I'm wondering if all of the endings are totally insane like this one, or if you have at least one that is... well, I won't say happier, but I dunno... cuter? Just wondering how much variety it has, as I may not retry right away, but I'm still curious!

Anyway, great work here, I really enjoyed it a lot!