i feel like there's SO many good things about this i could talk about but ill talk about the two that stick out the most in my mind--first of all, the way the story is told by mostly dialogue without narration was stellar. both of these characters voices were super clear and i feel like there are so many times where just the slightest most specific choice of words said so much more about them than any kind of narration could have and i GENUINELY think anyone who wants to get better at that should read this work. the second thing is i found anita's dialogue with this version of herself she sees in her mind so relatable. i have never seen an internal monologue like mine in fiction ANYWHERE before, nor had i even really thought about trying to approach that (both because my thoughts are so chaotic and conversational and also because really when it comes to writing i consider myself a novice) so the fact that this game portrays it so succinctly truly blew me away. just honestly incredible. oh oh okay and a third thing even tho i said i'd only do two, the choice of quotes were awesome, i genuinely think i am going to go through and read the sources of absolutely every one. fuuuuuuuuuucking fantastic, stellar work!!!
thank you for playing my game!
i'm glad you think the dialogue is strong, haha! i find it easier to write than narration... though i'd love to do a narration heavy story in the future. build up those muscles, etc.
i'm glad you like the way i portrayed anita's dialogue with herself too. i often find internal thoughts contradictory, so i wanted to portray it as a conversation between two anitas. and thank you for enjoying the quotes too, wheeeeee...
i think the sources are worth a read. would love to create a reading list for the game itself bc there's more where that came from.