WAAAH KINDEER CONGRATULATIONS!! THIS IS SCRUMPTIOUS!! A REAL FEAST!!! .·°՞(ᗒ□ᗕ)՞°·. ❤❤
Dirty Justice is EXACTLY the story I've been looking for (and the fact you made it is even better)!! I love this dystopian setting and the goal to avenge/revenge! I'm also happy to not have been disappointed by the psychological horror scenes (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)
The beginning of the story is nice, but the contrast from the 'philosophical questions' to a sort of flashback isn't really smooth. It's like drinking hot soup and eating cold ice cream right after. They're both delicious, it's just the immediate change in temperature that made it feel out of place.
☆ You can maybe remove the 'flashback' entirely (since it was mentionned on the way back home)
OR
☆ Start with the 'flashback' --> Julie interrupts --> and before standing up to go the the grocery store: the 'paragraph about hating the government.'
I must say that your art is so charming and all the characters are lovely (even the guard)!! (´▽`ʃƪ)♡♡
Ayala and Father are my favourites! Didn't expect him to be so buttercup (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈)
Oh! Another (minor) feedback is – right after witnessing the explosion – to try avoiding the word 'body.' It was mentionned quite a few times during the lash out/cry moment, and the explosion made it feel too overused (￣▽￣||)
☆ You could simply say: "You were too exhausted to run" or "Everything aches at once"
OR
☆ Not say it at all like:"The pain drives itself deeper [...], like blades being forced into your skin over and over again."
Otherwise, you did a good job describing the pain a tertiary blast injury brings ദ്ദി ( ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ )
I hope you add more CGs and that Julie isn't completely forgotten. It's a bit of a shame we didn't get more insight on her personality before she died and MC forgot about her.
I can't wait to know who the little panda guy is and how MC's role will play in the story! ( ˶˘ ³˘)♡
This is gonna blow up for sure! ☆(≧▽≦)☆
just like MC's house (</3)