Genuinely head over heels obsessed with the game!!! Foaming at the mouth to wait for the future days rn and trying to stop myself from writing my own version of the story in my notes app to cope with not having more (personal bad habit). LOVE IT KEEP IT UP ILY <33
Granted there were moments where I was shouting at the MC to use her powers bc she's a whole god and it doesn't make sense sometime for her to be so non-resistent. I think that maybe a good way to write around this is have her struggle with using magic if she's panicking/scared (the moments that I yelled for her to use her magic were when Cassian was confronting her so I think its reasonable to be panicking). It doesn't have to be a hard rule, she can still break through for plot purposes but just to give us something to hold onto when we know she can use her powers but doesn't?
Like...when she was in the square, it was already worse case scenario, the witch has been discovered in public, why not just freeze everyone and book it to the country side? She already fucked up.
And the moment with letting frost bloom...I guess she wanted to be polite to Cassian but idk he kinda man handled her and clearly knew she was awake, probably would have frozen him to the ground and make him promise to keep his mouth shut or else I turn him into a popsicle as I flee the kingdom...
(Also idk if it was an artistic choice, and sorry for being a grammar police but I think the more proper wording/syntax match for Ash’s profile dialogue would be “Why did you only listen in silence while my world shattered, piece by piece?”
Or “When my world was shattering piece by piece, why did you only listen in silence?” which I actually like more bc of the way weight and emphasis is distributed this way. Less chance of a run-on feeling.
I think it’s more common in English to use ‘while’ when referring to a clause that’s the second half of the sentence, and ‘when’ is used more as part of the first clause…or maybe that’s just me 😭 sorry for being annoying I promise it’s only bc I’m obsessed with this game already 🥺💕💕)
EDIT: neither are grammatically wrong, the clause is not a hard rule, the off feeling came from definitions of the word; while emphasizes the entire duration of an event, whereas when focuses on the starting point it happened. Since “pieces by piece” describes an ongoing process, “while” kinda matched better. However, combining when with present tense language (shattering) makes it focus on the entire duration without using while.