I think the story has a solid shape. It's not hard to relate to the pressure to perform and it's nice and light which is good for a game jam where in my experience people will not want to try to keep track of a big cast of character or specific story points.
To me the characters are not the draw of a story like this, it's that you can put yourself in the main characters shoes (ballet slippers in this case🩰) which is why nice, strategic audiovisuals amplify the plain text story to feel more real!