Absolutely hilarious read. Agree with pretty much all of it.
That said, I sorta disagree with point 4
( I can't blender so I won't be making a 3D asset flip game to explain my point )
I most definitely agree that you really should do whatever the fuck you like, but I don't think it also necessitates ignoring genuinely good design advice imo
Then again, seeing as though no one will buy my game, I may as well not add coyote time to my platformer and allow it to be a little jank and be slightly unresponsive because why the frik not kek.