This was very well written and I enjoyed seeing some Dark Elf stuff (especially as someone not overly familiar with 40K lore).
It was not entirely clear to me what happened to the protagonist's transport--was it blown up or did he just fall out? I think it would be stronger if you really grounded his current predicament in his own choices (is he too much of a badass to wear a parachute? Is it his fault the ship didn't have defenses?) You set that up a bit with the Witch's advice he ignores, but I'd really love a stronger grasp on how his decisions led him to this freefall. Similarly, if you could tie the rescue into whatever theme you're aiming for, it would make it very strong (i.e. does the raider save him because of their bond? Because they have some shared sense of trust? Because he risked himself to save this guy in the past?)
Please don't think that all these notes mean I don't like it. In fact, it's one of my favorites from this jam. I think it is very close to being something truly excellent.