Thank you! I really like the Dark Elves of Grimdark Future, quite different then the dark eldar of 40k.
I appreciate the feedback, always looking to get better. I was trying to have smaller facts fall by the wayside in order to emphasize the current situation, but I think you're right in saying I dropped too many of them. More set up for the rescue would have improved the piece or simply letting him hit the ground. I didn't want to write such a sad piece though. The rescue was supposed to come off as an /impossible/ rescue, helping to shore up the theme of the jam, I don't think I conveyed that enough in the writing.
I'm glad you enjoyed it!