First of all, congrats on making your first VN! It's always a pleasure to see new people making their own stories.
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Now, given that this is only just a very small demo for the greater world you are planning on making, there is very little we get to learn about the characters and the world around them. From what it looks like so far it seems that it's going to follow a pretty common trope in old fantasy stories, where the hero travels around the world to gather companions to save the world in the end. Combined with a reincarnation isekai seen in many mangas nowadays. That being said, I do like the dynamics that could come from this. Though, this is me thinking about the possibilities and not what was submitted for the jam.
Let's get the negatives out of the way.
Sorry if this sounds rude, but I would recommend finding someone to help you with the writing/english translation. There were a lot of grammatical and spelling errors in this. I wasn't counting, but there were issues on probably over half of the lines. Also, some of the dialogue could use some re-writing to flow just a bit better.
Since this is so short we aren't able to get really anything about the characters.
The campfire bg needs to be extended just a couple of pixels at the top, because it doesn't cover the whole screen. And since it's a darker picture it's really apparent.
And now the positives!
I do like the designs of the characters, and the art is good! You should see some of my art lmao. As long as you like what you've made I don't think you should change them.
The concept behind this story, where the hero is going around the world, looking for his companions, is always one of my favorites. The concept can take quite a few turns and it allows the creator to be flexible enough to make some twists here and there.
And finally, my main concern with this kind of project is the scope of it. It seems as though this project will take years probably to finish. If you plan on keeping this as a solo project, make sure to take some breaks because you can burn-out if you work nonstop on it,
Sorry for the yap fest, but I hope you find my comments helpful! Congrats once again on submitting your project!