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(+1)

Art: Super nice interior with crispy graphic design and map. Outside is also good but maybe a bit more standard. The illustration of the Watch is nice, though.

Writing: Really good. I haven't actually seen Eyes Wide Shut but I feel like that's what you're doing here? Anyway, masked rich person human sacrifice sex cult is a good theme for Mothership. 

Game Design: Let's face it, you're doing a lot here for a trifold. How you've done it is extremely clever, from the exploration mechanics to the icon system. It's extremely impressive, but also inevitably means some sacrifices (in addition to the ones mandated by the plot). For one thing, the Warden will have to ad-lib a lot of NPC motivations and environmental setpieces if this is going to be anything other than a long series of combats with beautiful background scenery, because you only allowed yourself a few words per room and per character. Similarly, you had to gloss over the intro by just saying the Warden could roleplay through the players' welcome and subsequent capture, which I think makes for a better story than just starting in a cell. I'd love to see this as a zine.

Theme: I feel like I might be missing something. I get that the ship is figuratively "mythical" in-game, and the Guide is ancient. The ship's name is myth-adjacent. Anyway, it's sprinkled in but unless I'm missing something that ties it together, it's reasonable but not the most anciently mythical thing I've seen this jam.

Layout: Truly impressive that you managed to keep the interior spread as comprehensible as you did, even if it's bursting at the seams a little bit in places (e.g. the explanation of the ! system for the doors could be better if you had more than one square nanometer to work with). Full marks anyway.

Utility: I'm a little torn here, in that there's a lot of work for the Warden if there's going to be more to do along the way than just beat up rich people, but it does "inspire game prep" as the guidelines suggest is one form of utility. I'd rather I didn't have to do that, but I do feel like it might be worth it for such a cool scenario. There is are also some things I'd have to house rule because I don't quite understand the intent... specifically, some of the non-reciprocal connections and why some sections have room numbers starting at 0 and others start at 1. I'm guessing that the Ballroom staircase is supposed to go to B0 not B2 so that it's reciprocal, and then the reason we can't roll B0 and C0 is that we only get there from the Bridge or the Promenade? 

Favorability: I feel like I had to dock a star in Game Design and Utility for having chosen a vision that can't really be done justice in this format despite your extraordinarily valiant efforts. However, even though it might frustrate me if I was actually playing it, I love it as a technical achievement in terms of pushing the envelope on information density. If I'm ever going to prison and need to have someone smuggle me an entire RPG on a postcard, I know who to call. Full marks and then some.

(+1)

Thank you for the detailed write-up, and yeah, you are on point with most of the things. Definitely too big of a scope for a project like this. But I got that inspiration and just wanted to try to fit the whole thing. As a result, some of the things have not been clarified as well as they could have. Once the jam is complete, I will go through the module and rewrite things, fix inconsistencies, and correct some of the mistakes you and others pointed out. For example, the idea behind the 0 rooms is that they are always accessible after you roll a few times, but I might have accidentally deleted that sentence while editing. So that's a big mistake. But this was my first time trying my hand at this and some mistakes were bound to happen. In any case, it was amazing, super fun to do, and I hope to do more in the future. Thanks for the feedback again.