I was worried given the subject matter, but this is tastefully done and the theme mostly serves as interesting set dressing. I think it is realized well and this is a solid module, but I think I would have liked maybe a twist or subversion. Though maybe it's better for a shore leave setting to be a little more straightforward.
Also, the collar puzzle solution may be a little too obscure. Maybe I missed a clue, but I think it may be hard for players to know to take the collar off.
All-in-all though, this is well-executed. I agree that the second page needs more of the personality of the first page, but it still looks good.