Wow, this was an incredible deep dive into the story. I agree with a lot of the things that you mentioned, while I had not considered others—especially the part of interfering with other worlds. That would have been interesting to explore. I appreciate all of your criticism and am sure it will be useful for the next story, whether it's for a jam or a personal project.
Thank you for the feedback and for reading my story.
P.S.
Sorry for the errors in writing, still learning how to actually write a story. :)