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I’d describe this as a wholesome story.  It was fun to see how Karl would describe modern-day technology and architecture and then figure out what he was experiencing from said descriptions.  But at the same time, I’m feeling a lack of character.  Everyone shares a generally pleasant and calm demeanor, save for a few instances, and I think if that was explained more, it would be fine.  And especially when Karl decides he wants to live in Mack and the General’s world, I was hoping for more development leading into that.  We get some information about each setting and character, but there could have been a lot more.  All three of the main characters could talk or show more of their history and beliefs.  And all the different worlds could get more detail and lore explained about them: such as Mack or the General giving an overview of each dimension’s history as they visit.  Getting to see some different creatures and such was neat, but it felt glossed over.

I really like the lane keys, and the lore surrounding them.  You did a good job in describing a lot of their functions.  I like how the story has this sort of twist where it isn’t time travel but multiverse travel.

I feel like there should have been more urgency in the story at times.  The General being so quick to explore Karl’s world, interfering with other worlds in general, and allowing Karl to live in the General and Mack’s world seemed like something that should have more precautions and concerns before being decided on.

Additionally, I had difficulty following the story at times.  The sentence structure swaps between tenses often, has incomplete sentences, and lacks necessary commas at times.  I was able to figure things out as I went, but it made it harder to read unfortunately.

(+1)

Wow, this was an incredible deep dive into the story. I agree with a lot of the things that you mentioned, while I had not considered others—especially the part of interfering with other worlds. That would have been interesting to explore. I appreciate all of your criticism and am sure it will be useful for the next story, whether it's for a jam or a personal project.

Thank you for the feedback and for reading my story.

P.S.

Sorry for the errors in writing, still learning how to actually write a story. :)

No need to apologize.  It's always ten times easier to notice someone else's grammar or spelling errors than it is to notice it in one's own stuff.  And even with those problems, this was a fun read.