Amazing artwork, I love that style! I think mashing in the collage like photographs to help out where you probably didn't have time to draw loads is clever, and achieves a cool effect for the most part. I love the body's portrait, and its slow, very subtle decay and transformation - having it on the side so that you're not constantly watching it is fantastic for that. The writing also achieves a great, consistent tone and is enjoyable to read.
Congrats on having gotten to the stage where you're not relying as much on tutorials anymore - you seem to have a really good sense for how to tie together a vision overall and you'll only flourish from here :D
A few bits of feedback, though I read you're looking to improve a lot already:
- A skip button for text would be nice to get to read faster - especially since the choices appear quicker than the actual description does.
- Seeing the success chances, if there are any, next to the option, would make it feel a bit more like there is some sense of choice and strategy involved.
- A clearer ending will be great, but also I think a clearer beginning, as I was not entirely sure what we were doing until the very end.