It’s always great to play through your games! I’ve noticed that we both tend to place emphasis on art and story, which I think is great. Story games tend to be more innovative in jams since few people do them, and VNs are even rarer.
Take my critique with a grain of salt, as a lot of this is probably things you would’ve refined with more time. I know VNs are often seen as “easier” to make, but I know firsthand that they take a LOT of work, especially writing branching paths. So it’s understandable that you would run out of time. SPOILERS AHEAD
I played through multiple times so I could read all the dialogue and choose all the options. Although some things changed depending on choices, Jordan seems to feel the same about Lani no matter what you pick. She still takes Lani to watch the stars and make wishes and seems to care for her. However, it’s only if you go along with Lani’s requests that you get the option to look for her in the end. No matter what you choose throughout the game, you always get the option to wait for Lani and Jordan always talks about how she’s worried about Lani and then makes a wish. I assume that wish was regarding Lani? That ending felt a bit unsatisfying, as several threads were left unresolved.
This doesn’t fully make sense to me unless ignoring Lani’s requests would make Jordan cold and uncaring, but since she’s depicted as a caring person (even towards a stranger like Lani), it feels like she would consider looking for Lani either way. Especially since she takes Lani to a private place to see the stars both no matter what the player chooses. And no matter what, Jordan shares something deep and personal about herself with Lani. Both of these indicate that Jordan cares about and trusts Lani, so it makes sense to me that she would look for Lani either way. Aside from that, my other critiques are minor and not very important.
Again, take this with a grain of salt. I understand that writing and drawing for a VN takes a lot of time and effort, and writing truly different branches is even more work. (I know because I did it for my own entry.) The art is beautiful, even if some of it is unfinished, and the characters are compelling and full of personality. It’s also always great to see another Ren’Py user. Great job on your entry!