Read with caution. Spoilers below.
So, I came here from the video you made about this project. I originally got the Edible Ending and then a bunch of dead ends. Then, because I put this through my Ren'Py launcher to play this on my Mac, I saw that there was a true ending and randomly chose answers again with some attention to detail to fall into a certain range to get the true ending, to which I did. If I didn't have that inside knowledge, I wouldn't have gotten that ending nor would know have known about its existence.
As for the game itself, I liked the art and the colors of the VN. I liked the CGs, too. Although, I wasn't exactly sure what I was looking at when the love interest was next to the MC in bed. I also found it funny how you had the characters go see a play about Rapunzel, as I also did that for my characters in the visual novel Love Days, which you can find on my profile here.
Yet, for a yandere story, I'm surprised you didn't mention about how the prince falls from the castle and becomes blinded by the thorns. That could have heightened her paranoia in the story or that sense of uneasiness. I know that from reading the original story.
Otherwise, the story felt slow or boring in some places, and I was confused why Airi would call the MC kind or nice if the player chose to be cold to him. Furthermore, the way in which the player lives or is saved I wasn't a fan of because it had to do with how much Airi did or didn't like you and choosing seemingly inconsequential or unrelated decisions that had no bearing on one's survival.
In the game Negative Nancy, which is a story-driven game with multiple endings depending when and where and who you say, "No" to, I was able to figure out and get the endings where Nancy is saved by particular characters because of how she treated certain characters earlier in the episode. That to me made more sense because there was a clear cause and effect and positive and negative reaction to one's choices that didn't hinge on a hidden value based off of dialogue choices that were different shades of grey and nuances.
I knew the true ending existed because you stated it at the end, but I wasn't sure if it did exist after trying different choices out and getting the same bad ending. Otherwise, there were a bunch of grammatical mistakes. Yet, I was fine with that, since I knew you said you were rushed for time, with this being a game jam. Some standouts were "stakes" instead of "steaks", "builds" instead of "bills", "there" instead of "their", "existing" instead of "existence", and "short staffed" instead of "short-staffed."
Sometimes apostrophes were forgotten or misplaced, and oftentimes, the first letter of a sentence was not capitalized. Regardless, I was able to understand everything. So, it's all good. I understand this was a rushed prototype. Just pointing out errors to help you clean up the VN better after the fact or to be aware of such issues for future visual novels.
Furthermore, I didn't like how the font was small in the beginning, but I got used to it. I legitimately thought there were uppercase F's in random places of the text, but turns out that is just how the font looks. That threw me off. I also noticed the text is white and therefore unreadable in the game menu. You might want to check that out.
I wasn't sure how Airi rhymed with Siri. I read his name as Ari or Airy pronunciation-wise, which seemed more feminine than masculine to me for a boy's name, unless that was what you were going for. The relaxing music reminded me of the music from the hit visual novel Our Life: Beginning and Always. I was surprised that the comfy music still played in scenes where the character felt uncomfortable. Silence could have been used there in such moments, unless you wanted that juxtaposition. It also would have been nice if the player could name the MC or if the MC had a name herself (or himself). Also, it doesn't make sense for Airi to be known as Airi in the beginning of the game if the main character doesn't know his name yet.
Additionally, when I was skipping the game a lot, I noticed there was an audio error where the relaxing music overlapped with the piano music when the MC leaves the café and goes back home with Airi. Both musical tracks play at the same time there. Although, it stops once MC wakes up in the basement, and that's when only one track plays, which was the new one by then.
All in all, I liked the game. Well, I'm mixed on it. Even putting the nitpicks aside, I wasn't feeling invested in the characters or in the storyline. Although, I was excited when I got closer to Airi. Yet, I was disappointed and confused when he decided to eat the MC despite liking the MC. He could have easily gotten away with his criminal acts if he didn't give MC his special dishes.
To add to that confusion, not only does Airi think MC is kind either way, the MC likes that Airi is looking out for her or him later on in the game, even if MC is wary and cold of him prior to all of that. I felt maybe the story should have changed depending on how the MC felt about Airi in the final acts.
For example, MC could have texted his or her homegirl the night Airi was sleeping over at MC's place if MC was suspicious of Airi, making her friend's appearance later on more believable than something pulled out of thin air.
Another thing, I think it would have been more believable to see the manager more in the beginning than only in that one scene, especially if he's the manager. I felt like scenes happened independent of the story to put conflict in the story rather than seamlessly flowing into one another. They felt like isolated incidents that happened randomly than feeling like there was natural build-up to those scenes. I don't know if this is making sense, but it also felt weird that it felt like MC worked at the café alone when she had other people working alongside her.
Also, at least in America, employees want the customers to leave after they're done their food. Of course, that's dependent on culture and establishment. Yet, it could have made for more interesting conflict if the MC didn't like Airi's continuous presence or if the manager didn't either. Food for thought there (pun intended).
Finally, sorry for making a harsh review here. It's meant to be constructive, not destructive. My biggest issue with this visual novel was the slow pacing and boring filler moments. However, I've seen this in other hit visual novels like Our Life: Beginning and Always, Arcade Spirits, and other indie visual novel titles.
As someone who writes short stories for my own visual novels, reads indie visual novels, and provides feedback in the Ren'Py subreddit, even, I've come to realize that people may prioritize art over storytelling in this sphere.
It's not so much about good writing versus bad writing or perfect grammar versus horrible grammar. It's just that I'll find myself forcing myself to read through a pretty-looking but boring-to-read visual novel half the time. This is because I find there is a lack of conflict in the story. Thus, I'm waiting for things to happen, or it makes for an underwhelming experience. Luckily, you don't overly describe the setting with descriptive text, as I've seen other visual novels do. Instead, I felt like I read through filler dialogue or dialogue that bored me. Maybe that's a personal nitpick of mine, and you can completely disregard that.
However, for as much dialogue as there was, I felt I only knew the characters on a surface-level. I wasn't sure what to think of the main character and didn't have a solid grasp of who he or she was, even. I felt scenes switched between locations because they had to, not because I was living through the character and following along with their thought processes, fears, or desires. The "what" of a novel is the plot and events of a novel. The "who" of a novel is the story and person of a novel. It's the "why" behind the actions of the main character that drives the story forward and gives meaning to the events that take place.
If a story is a character desiring something and wanting to obtain a goal but something is getting in their way, then I'm not quite sure what the protagonist of this story truly wanted. Sure, Airi presented himself to the MC, but even if that character didn't make their presence overtly known, then I don't know what the MC would have truly wanted or why the MC was intrigued with Airi to begin with. Thus, it begs what the story is behind this visual novel.
Additionally, I work in customer service too and see and talk with regulars all the time. That doesn't mean I want to hang out with them, let alone with my coworkers.
All in all, I understand the story externally but not internally, and maybe it would have flowed better or be better understood if both the external events of the story and the internal desires and fears of the main character were taken into account when planning and writing out the story.
Ultimately, I give this visual novel a 7.5/10. Love the art and the colors. Could work on story, grammar, and dialogue. Good job!