I was not aware of that. I also wasn't sure if this was a style of writing that I was reading. I hope I didn't come across arrogant or hypocritical in my essay of a rant. That's why I mentioned other examples of playing and reading through other visual novels and my own experience with game development. Even when I type up visual novels, I can end up with typos, and my work can range from boring to angsty and dramatic story-wise, which I'm astutely aware of. Plus, my art is bad, and I've been told it's crude. I've even criticized my own visual novels in the comments of my games. So, I am a critic all around.
I also realize I write my visual novels differently than others. People write theirs like books or with streams of consciousnesses. I also tend to write by the seat of my pants, and there's no one way to write a piece of fiction. I just write mine like a movie script where they are more dialogue-driven and fast-paced in the sense that there is always some sort of conflict in every scene whereas other authors can be more light in that regard due to the slice-of-life nature of the genre they're writing in, which there's nothing wrong with that either.
Although, if you poke around YouTube or Google, you'll find authors say that the driving force of any story is conflict, and without it, it can feel like a random series of events. At its core, a character having a goal plus an obstacle in the way of said character's goals is what equates to a plot. My works just happen to be more character-driven.
Otherwise, I know what it's like to be given feedback on a piece of art, whether written or drawn, and it can hurt. So, I didn't want to shoot down your ego. However, I wanted to be truthful while giving advice along the way, even if it was unsolicited. Plus, I didn't know if I was being too harsh for a prototype. I've also done and participated in many game jams, too, where I rushed for the deadline. So, I know the feeling.
Ultimately, at the end of the day, you got something out there, submitted your VN into a game jam, finished a story from beginning to middle to end, and you can always update the VN later if you so choose. That's still a win, and I'm just giving you my take as someone who appreciates the genre. You can write your visual novels however you want. That's the joy, power, and freedom of creativity. I just didn't want my critical feedback to discourage you from continuing your journey of game development, is all.