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(+1)

Many thanks for your feedback. In the meantime I played with my usual group and the impressions were positive. I think I could rewrite the text a bit and make it clearer, but there is also an “evocative layer” that would be deleted and I am not ready. 

(+1)

I’m not sure how much extra “clarity” would help, is my 2 cents. First off, I don’t find anything here to be too unclear, but more to the point I think there should be some friction in the experience, given the inspiration.