(1) Honestly everything else done elsewhere and/or in private doesn't bother me, ESPECIALLY in private. So no, while general BDSM isn't my thing, I understand its appeal and pros for the people who practice it. So really less so the content but rather how it's presented in this game, if they're trying to make the game more inclusive than how you execute it is important. If that answers it for you?
(2) No because men have, in my opinion, always been privileged so to me that's WHY less problematic if it's just a guy being treated like shit and doesn't extend to LGBTQT+ peoples or women. Because to me, the fact men are mostly in power excuses pretty much all those elements. Not to mention many of them are transphobic and to be honest, could care less how cis guys are presented, as long as, like I said, the treatment doesn't extend to LGBTQT+ and women.
Thought I said what was in bad taste, and shemale, well, if you didn't know transwomen are either indifferent to that term or when they hate it, they're really, really, REALLY loud about their disdain for that word. If you didn't know, you now know.
As for that word, honestly words have varying meaning so honestly if that word means "guy attracted so much to femininity he wants to look feminine" to you, than that's what you are. Just be aware with how you use that word. Plus, take academics' opinions with a grain of salt. Honestly, use whatever word you want to use: the LGBTQT+ space lends itself to identifying as whatever you want. Plus you could make the same argument, like they do in academics, about what "nonbinary" is so yeah, refer to yourself as whatever you want.
If anything, that should just serve as a indicator of how much more you and people who criticize me has got to learn.