I don't want to be presumptuous, but it seems like you're new to music composing, yeah? (Please, do correct me if I'm wrong!) I gotta say your composition is VERY ambitious and I deeply appreciate that. I think you really have the talent in music arrangement because your sense and choice of notes for the melody is VERY good (to my ears at least), and I don't say that quite often.
I'm going to give one teeny tiny criticism, but as a preface: this is purely subjective and you may or may not agree with what I'm going to say. If you do believe in your sense and vision, please keep believing that!
One small feedback that I will give you is: know and understand when to stop. I'm going to take "vs Loneliness" as an example here. This melancholic composition reminds me a lot to Omori's final boss theme "Omori" (you may check that out, but if you're interested in playing the game there might be a mega spoiler lurking around so just a heads up for you lmao), which took reference from "Hana" by Asa-chang & Junray. Now, why do I make the comparison? If you listen to the references I just sent you, you should immediately be able to feel the weight of the song despite it's simplicity. They're only repeating the same chord progression over and over yet they work and they work really well. Going back to your song and the story, I really like the early part of the song, but somewhere around the middle, the melody wanders around a bit aimlessly and that's the part where I felt the weight was lost.
I understand that it's easier said than done because "understanding when to stop" is something that one will learn through experience and I really do hope you've learned a lot from this jam!
PLEASE NEVER STOP LEARNING AND MAKING MUSIC!!!!!!!