Your narrative style gives your work an authentic voice. Nice work!!
Viewing post in Lessons in Hubris jam comments
Anyways.
Big fan of this story. I like the character focus, and I think you do a good job navigating the frame story and the inner story in a way that makes the divisions between them clear on the page, yet gives them both the space they need. I do think that changing the way you tell the inner story (maybe by structuring it as a story being told, or in a voice that doesn't match the frame story as closely) would strengthen the piece as a whole; the space between them is clear on the page, but the tone and content is so similar that they begin to blur together in the reading.