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Is there a way to just date 1 guy? Because I keep getting the bear (teacher) and Seth showing that they are interested (and the character flirting back) while I'm dating Dorian (the Mountain Lion|Puma) and I'm the kind of guy who goes for a guy and only that guy exists, feels like I'm stringing along the others while cheating on Dorian (and it feels like the game doesn't give me a choice on that), and I don't like that... Also a guide of the game would be nice...

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Uhh... yeah  idk how thats happening. There is only a way to date one at a time. May I ask what options you pick in the game? Thank you man I hope u have a good day. Also i do plan on having a guide later on but i want it to be hard right now in the game to simulate how hard it is in real life

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Picked as food chicken biscuit (what is that even?) I skipped the lunch "date" with the teacher though next day I was forced to go on a date lunch with him (the teacher is becoming creepier by the day by the way) , told the creepy teacher Seth was a good friend, lpicked Dorian as partner when in the gym game of ball (don't remember how it was called) let Seth share the bed with me (seemed cruel letting him sleep on the floor, seemed cold and cruel to ignore him, and downright evil to kick him) took his hand when the sleep paralysis/nightmare did happen in the shower. Those are the choices I can remember right now... 

You don't know what a Chicken Biscuit is? Ohh I'm sorry you're missing out man. I will look into this and I'll come back when I figure things out. Tysm and i hope u have a good day, for now.

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Thanks, you too! :) 

Okay, so I played through it the same way you did and it didn't force me to go out on the lunch date with him. You sure those are the stuff that you picked

As far as I can remember, oh and I chose to go home to study magic with Seth. 

Hm... Well none of those options gives you Owen or Dorian points, did you use any codes?

What codes? I know nothing of coding or making VN's, I'm just as confused as you are... 

No i mean like, there is a spot to enter codes in after your name. There is one called "cheats" i belive that literally fucks up everything. Idk but if u didnt do that then idk. Im gonna just play through it fully then ill come back here

No, I'm not stalking you. Your comments belong to the group of the high-class comments, so to say, so I like answering them is all. 

Please tell me, if you don't like writing so much. Also, this isn't my native language, so there can be errors, especially when I'm tired. I'm writing this so you don't get upset. People tend to just leave one be and not care about writing back, what I truly hate. Makes me feel shitty, even though I get over it eventually)

Should I sound cringy, I don't care. Good manners are more important to me for "first encounters".

The exact same problem applies to me. After a while I finally put the game aside, because the teacher is honestly freaky, creepy and lustful AND he looks like he's at least in his 40th. The others can't be older than 17 or 18, except Seth of course.

I tried, I think, 3 of the others. When I heard the Golden Retriever likes weed, I quit his route (he looks too stereotypical for being high on something, I am not okay with this...), Sam's frat friend is not even approachable and Dorian thinks he has a chance, but, as we know, ultimately doesn't.

Kinda sad you didn't like Major/Minor. Well, it is what it is. *shrug*

As a sidenote: You remind me of Samtoinette, another person I met here. She is really cool to speak with. (Our monthly exchanges clarify it)^^

I didn't said that you were stalking me, I was merely curious. Sorry if it came out wrong. 

What? Haha, no, not at all.... Sorry, if you understood *me* wrong! I need to go to bed, it's way too late. smh

I simply try to make conversation. Not more not less. :)

What the fuck is all of this

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What the fuck is your comment¿

...Sorry, if I came across wrong, and it's now causing confusion.. But tell me, what is it you don't like about my comments? My statements are reasonable and valid, just sayin'.

What the fuck do you mean

I'm still severely confused

Yeah, well... Read again. 

Pale and me wrote each other a few times in the past. It's nothing you have to concern yourself with. I like writing with strangers, but because I didn't wanna sound like a stalker I wrote all of that from above.

The rest is about your game which is not terrible, but needs a lot of fine tuning, like language or detailed explanations. You could play other VN's (visual novels) and see how their developers did it. Just a tip. Pervader is the best written VN I've played. I suggest you look it up.

(Btw. I don't think Pale completely understood what I wrote, it's alright though. I was half making fun)

In a visual novel you don't have to really have deep detailed explanations. I don't know what you mean by language besides grammar errors and shit. Anyways, I wouldn't ever read another novel or story and interrupter their writing into mine. Besides maybe some ways of addressing the anthropomorphic race since they're irregular. That's like an artist taking a head base for a fox and building on it. Their style is their style and mine is mine. By the way, if you didn't address him in your comment it wouldn't have been weird. He most likely wouldn't have but any thought to it. 

Listen, I don't want to sound rude, so bear with me. 

I'm not talking about a highly detailed script for every little aspect of the world you created. What I would like to see is for instance little, natural character interactions, thoughts of the MC (main character), world building, maybe thoughts of other characters too, those things. Setting up the world and preparing the basics is important. To me it feels like the days are over too soon and not many (relevant) things have happend. A better introduction of the characters would be nice as well...

I am indeed no writer, but a heavy reader. English is not my native language either, though I do read books/... in English and I want to think that I, in the meantime, learned what one should pay attention to while writing a story.

Sure, everyone explains certain things different than the next person. Nobody creates the same characters and lets them interact the same way and so on. You're right on that front. Though every author has to write after the same formula or else the story is not authentic/real enough. Your story doesn't feel realistic/natural/fluid yet, despite the fantasy tag, more like forced. I don't really know how to express what I mean in the right words. Hopefully you understand it anyway. :/

If you don't want helpful advices please say so, or if you think they're not helpful at all.


PS: Please read another VN (Pervader, Tennis Ace, Wolfstar Sins and Paradise, Four Letter Word, Major/Minor, ...), not to copy their work/ideas, but simply to see how they have done it. 

(Your replies are sometimes a bit childish and you don't seem to be very capable of criticism. Try to stay composed and friendly, even if it's not always easy:)