This is certainly very unique and I like the way you describe the lyric writing process. I've never heared anybody write lyrics in that way and I think it's very cool. That being said, I feel that the arrangement would be more pleasant with more variety. Since the melodic structure is a bit erratic and the instrumentation does not change, I think that the song gets a bit strenuous after a while. But I also appreciate that that is your style, as it's unlike anything I've heared before. The interlude thing at around 5:10 does a good job of introducing some change and the part at around 8:20 is nice.
Viewing post in Film At Eleven jam comments
It's a natural outgrowth of juggling a regular 9-5 job rather than being a full time musician that I rarely get to build a non-unison instrument set, perhaps a cloning of the non-piano instrument past the interlude would have served it very much better.
I also probably have too much lyrical material in there by approximately one-third :)
(Which strained the process further)
I could feel that it was more flawed than the recent 'Interrobang / Real Penetration Has Never Been Tried' which I believe had far more successful flow.
Glad you gave it the effort of a full analysis.
gave you an Itch follow, if you like the things on my page(s), consider doing the same.
Cheers!
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