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BigBouncyDragon193 days ago

everything else they lack a unifying artistic vision
I really tried to have the most homogeneous artstyle, and personally I feel it works. It's very hard to gather assets with right to use...

The prose is riddled with mistakes and ESL-isms
There is mistakes but I am shocked you couldn't even read! I searched some online dictionary deeply, reading the comments of native english to check a lot. Do you have some examples of ESL-isms I missed? I already know there is a pronouns mistake.

Does the protagonist even end up using the "Love Perfume" he acquires? 
It was the start of some content I couldn't finish in time. I hoped it to look trifling, like just an embarrassing gift. ^^"

At least I am glad my work brang some fun. :)

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Loudo193 days ago

> I really tried to have the most homogeneous artstyle, and personally I feel it works. It's very hard to gather assets with right to use...

I think the assets you used are fine on their own, but I don't think the mix of artstyles comes off as purposeful. For example, most of the backgrounds are pixel art, the sprite of the protagonist is very anime, some wolves are of the more realistic beastman kind, some have cartoony exagerated body proportions, etc.

> There is mistakes but I am shocked you couldn't even read! I searched some online dictionary deeply, reading the comments of native english to check a lot. Do you have some examples of ESL-isms I missed? I already know there is a pronouns mistake.

Just a random example, because I remember my reading group was confused about what was going on. "Both of you freeze out of fascination for the new wolf appearing." We weren't sure how many characters were involved in this scene, "both of you" makes it seem like it's referring to the MC and the wolf he just fought, but I think you probably meant the MC and the girl he rescued.

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BigBouncyDragon193 days ago

"Both of you freeze out of fascination for the new wolf appearing."

I see. It's not an ESL-isms because it would actually be confusing even in my native langage as long as you remember and include the previous wolf in the scene,  but I did fail to quickly find a clearer way to write it in english, and ended up with that tricky wording.

It's the MC and the wolfess (she is not rescued here)! ;)

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