I'm giving you 5's across the board... I don't know that I would necessarily if there were a bigger number to rate out of? But 4 definitely feels too low. Presentation is very impressive, what a commitment for such a short project. There's 3 different artists that draw Ian... and I love the look of him in all 3, each one cooks hard. He looks SO gay in the sleeping scene. The music is also amazing and does a great job setting the tone. I'm always a sucker for any sort of breaking of the fourth wall (done tastefully), so using the medium to change the name and create the error to get the final ending? really good. I love that not only is the twist that Tor is Ian's light, but also his darkness. and pretty much just darkness for poor tor lmao. Sorry buddy.
The only critique I have is with the story. The writing is light, and floaty, and I don't think that's bad. It works fine for the presentation, and the cycles are short enough that it doesn't feel like it overstays its welcome. Maybe it'd be a bit too purple prose with a more extended story but it works fine here. That said... I kinda want like. More? an answer, so to speak? I mean I can put together most of the stuff. How they died, why their specific branch of limbo/purgatory plays out the way it does, etc. But I want a thesis statement. I want a rebuttal to my "For what?" Ian has pulled Tor's spirit through countless cycles to the point of exploding him into a million tiny pieces, and then he just gets to go "hey death I'm satisfied actually can we stop" and death hits him with the shrug emoji. Idk it just is missing that final spike to land it home. The vn does such a good job building... something up, I want the final answer to shatter me. I want to lay awake in the middle of the night thinking about this vn for a week, and I feel like you're really close to that. there's more style than substance in this ending, but the style is soooo good that i can forgive it. There's this sort of... pensiveness and ominous undercurrent throughout the whole game. it's hard for me to pin down in words myself! and I can't really go back and reference specific parts because. well. There is nothing left here. I would say "maybe it's more about the time spent on the journey" but in this case the end is still very important, and the lack thereof. I choose to interpret the ending in an optimistic light, but I still would have preferred a bit more than the simple straight forward answer, including death showing up itself to dunk on Ian and then peace us out of the whole vn.
THAT SAID I still really enjoyed the experience quite a lot! Just because the payoff wasn't as striking as I think you can, could, and should have made it, doesn't mean I don't respect how well you managed the game, and how good the pieces pull together. I also can't help but love Ian's design, the crying tear markings are on the nose but they still have me very much feeling for him. I look forward to what else you do in the future, great first attempt!