Hi! Here's my reaction after reading:
From the title, I wasn't expecting this type of scenario at all, but rather something more like insects crawling under the skin of their victims, as in The Mummy. In the end, though, it was a pleasant surprise.
+ I really like the idea of a mundane scenario because it allows us to offer our players more variety on the Mothership system. I could run it.
+ The locations and location headers are clearly presented. However, it's unclear how many security personnel are in each room. But this is a parameter that each warden can easily improvise.
± It's a complete and attractive scenario, but it requires a great deal of information to be assimilated. Errors in relation to the timeline are bound to occur.
- This is especially true since the time interval between each timeline event is irregular. Furthermore, the first event appears to be late.
Typo: "+2:55 — Mallion and Camilla take off with Phoebe aboard." Is Phoebe the new Daphne?
Typo: "Several broad staircases lead up to the Observation Platform." Isn't the Viewing Platform?
You say that, when chaos begins, the kitchen staff flees to the staff area. However, according to the legends of the staff area during Act III, this is not the case. Is this a mistake?
As for the theme, I understand your desire to give "under the surface" a figurative meaning. However, this interpretation seems more distant than those of other submissions I read.
Overall, this is a solid trifold that I enjoyed reading. However, it requires an experienced Warden to provide the best experience for players.