Great, highly original idea that doesn't quite live up to its potential due to layout and information prioritization issues.
Giant cosmic horror living in a the gas giant below? Great. Memory tendrils and stolen minds? Awesome. Sandbox setting with a lot of secondary stuff going on, love it.
So, what's not as great?
- The map doesn't do anything useful because it doesn't show any connections between places.
- The location descriptions aren't numbered, which makes it even less likely the map will be useful.
- NPC descriptions are mixed in with the locations where they'll most likely be encountered, instead of given their own section.
- Random skills table isn't needed. Presumably if you're paying to learn something you know what you're going to be learning. Just give a list along with the prices, it'll take up less room.
- The scenario doesn't seem to be set up for a climax. Once we figure out what's going on and deduce where Barbara is, can we not just... go get her, with the only risk being a nightmare on the way? I think there needs to be a half-panel spent suggesting ways the rescue can play out/be complicated, from sabotage by Sal Marino to conflict with the Dream Eater itself.