Praise: I can't express strongly enough how happy I am to see that you were brave enough to leave empty space in your trifold. It's really tempting to make a wall of text, but you didn't. You came up with enough interesting stuff to play a fun game of Mothership, and then you stopped. Well done.
Criticism: I noticed the vampire is variously referred to as "her" "him" and "it" throughout the description. The text blocks on the interior spread are placed on page folds, but there is plenty of space for them to be inside of the fold columns. That, combined with the very low contrast on the text, guarantees that some of the text will be unreadable after the page is creased and folded.
Viewing post in The Vampire's Melody jam comments
Hi, thank you for your feedback!
After rereading it, I didn't see anything about "him" regarding the vampire. Could you point out where it is? I chose to place the blocks of text on the folds because centering them in the columns diminished the aesthetics. However, I may modify it to increase readability in an update. Regarding the contrast, I've ensured it is sufficient using third-party software, though I understand it raises questions.