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Hey there, I think you have a fun idea for an adventure on your hands and I would love to give you some thoughts on how I think it could be improved if you are open to that. If yes I’m happy to post them here or we can chat about things in private if you prefer!

Regardless congrats on having some very fun concepts in your adventure!

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My apologies if you get like 10 of the same comment from me! Itch did something weird when I was trying to post. I have deleted all that have popped up and they stopped popping up now but if you see duplicates, my bad! haha

All feedback is appreciated! Feel free to post here

Okay so others have pointed out the formatting and execution issues so I won’t harp on that (although as a former graphic designer I’m happy to chat with you in the future as you bring this up to a more readable/pleasant to use level); what I want to focus on is story (which is my day Job) and ultimately I think you have a bunch of good pieces but you have missed a trick or two by the end. The most important of these in my opinion is why the Calypso was shot down in the first place… to keep the truth of the planet hidden… so if thats the case the realization of the secret should bring with it a dread of the players own ship meeting the same fate! This could be as “Epic” as having an ending The PCs are assaulted by a secret Cabal, or as simple as the mere existence of said Cabal creating a ticking clock for them to get out/away in time (and maybe Hunted into future one shots?) there is a lot you can do with this story thread.

Second is the Kraken, as it stands now its interesting flavor but you could easily use this as a mechanism to screw with the ship/flood areas etc. (i know the whole ship is flooded but you could easily have some rooms that flooded while others sealed off… just moving through the ship could create massive water movement etc…). I feel there is a way to tie this in better which i’ll hit on in just a second.

Last is the “Ghost” itself, This is a fun premise as it stands but again I feel like you missed a trick. right now you have the ghost like creature being (if i’m reading it correctly) a link between the ship and a long dead host who has been kept alive somewhat artificially. So to take this aspect (and a few others) up to 11, I think you need to focus on what makes Ghosts Ghosts… it is a resonance of strong emotion that can’t let go. So right now you have the “ghost” and the body it will possess if it needs to.

So my proposal is this: diving into what a Ghost is, It appears that the Ghost is the Ships AI, gone “crazy” being without people for years… Lets use this. (this next part is me spitballing something take or leave it as ya feel!) Before the crash the ship was transporting incredibly important cargo, the incredibly sick daughter of some Hypercorp CEO frozen in a cryopod - being sent for life saving treatment in what was, at the time, a state of the art ship… its AI’s one overriding command was “Protect my daughter at all costs” and even after being shot down that is what it has been doing for hundreds of years. It has kept her pod safe. The others, the crew, have been possessed and sacrificed time and time again in an effort to keep the one important cryopod working. So instead of the ship “…[doing] everything in its power to prevent crew from leaving.” I think its the opposite! I think the Crew arrive and almost immediately the AI “Appears” to them in holograph form, telling them to leave… they don’t they plunge into the depths of the craft to find their treasure, and as such the ghost moves from warning to hostile. it has limited resources, the mutated crew are now more shambling mounds of flesh than anything with thought… so it reaches out with its cyber-pathic link and calls forth the Kraken right as the crew find their prize the Warp Core that has been altered to power the AI and the Girl’s Cryopod for a Millenia or more… now the crew are in a bind. they have a large object they are trying to pull from the ship as the Kraken starts to rip at “non vital” parts of the ship (an escape sequence) and then whats worse? in desperation, the power source being stolen, the AI sends out a signal and has called the Cabal, the PC’s might have the Warp Core but it comes with far more than they bargained for…

Thats my pitch for what to do with the super cool story pieces you already have there, obviously its a lot, but i think its all very doable if it sounds like the direction you want to take things.

Again i think you have great “bones” of the story, really cool ideas here, I just want to help guide them into the coolest story I think possible with what you already have. Hope this helps in some way! and feel free to contact me anytime if you want to chat story ideas here!

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Ye, I think youre very right on the cohesion aspect. Given me lots to think about with those suggestions, might steal an aspect or two of those. Thanks!