Post by rockpankake in vignettes comments

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Played through this my gf. Keep it up, and I wish you luck with the future chapters.

I do have one critique of the game tho. The inciting incident between Clover, Hazel and Gumdrop feels like it was handled poorly, as it felt both confusing and a “telling not showing” moment. I understand the explicit details of the indecent aren’t important, but it felt like they were constantly referencing some other thing I should have read beforehand. I feel as though some sort of summary or brief memory or something to orientate the reader would be nice, as the entire chapter is base around something that just happened off screen.

Did I actually miss something or is there some other reason for the choice that’s yet to be shown?

eevee106 days ago(+1)(-1)

hey thanks, glad you... liked it? did you like it?

imo, showing the moment would detract from the story — which is about the conflicting ways everyone feels about it. if the reader witnessed it themselves first, they'd likely form their own impression of it and then decide who is "right" or "wrong", but a big theme is that that doesn't actually matter. also, part of what clover struggles with is that it's been so long that she doesn't remember the details clearly, so she can't quibble over them — and the reader is in the same position!

rockpankake101 days ago

Um I was kinda mixed on it, but I didn't want to lampoon you with criticism, as it wouldn’t be fair to do so. And I do wish you luck with your further endeavors.

But like I said, just don’t show the moment but summarize it. As it’s confusing to a first time reader as I don’t know if you're mentioning something that happened in another visual novel or something that happened in the lore of floraverse. I’m not a floraverse fan, so when I’m not told about the event I’m assuming it either some preexisting lore or part of some other floraverse property.

But be and my gf did yap some bit about the story, and we approached it from differing angles as she was more knowledgeable, so idk.

eevee101 days ago

for what it's worth, the intention is that it should be readable even if you've never heard of floraverse at all

itch.io

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