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(+1)

Well written, and nice to finally have dragons enter The Dying World.
I love the tonality of the writing, and the Dragon Quests. 

There are a few places where your writing could perhaps just be cleared up a little, like: "

Fanged Deserters increase Bite attack damage by one step." I know what you mean, but perhaps Fanged Deserters increase Bite Attack Damage to a higher die. Or maybe even leaving it out? 


If I were to looks at the graphical side of things, I would consider you to try to simplify. Take the right hand side with the beautiful dragon by Tania, I think you could've fitted all the text around that dragon and left it in full opacity. :)

Congratulations with publishing a piece, there's a lot to be proud of, and I cannot wait to see your next one! 
(1 edit) (+1)

A hundred steam-filled thanks for taking the time to read and post! It's wonderful to receive feedback.

I went back and forth on the wording for the Fanged Deserter bite attack bit. I did think about leaving it out, but also didn't wanted a Fanged Deserter player to feel left out rolling that result (getting such a boon is a big deal). Maybe something simple like "A Fanged Deserter's bite attack increases to dX".

On the graphical side, I can see that. But, hey, the first rule was that it couldn't be perfect, soI guess I nailed that! 

(+1)

Totally see your points – a lot of this work is subjective, and so it's important to know what you want to be there.

You did a really great job! Just want to make sure there's no doubt about that.