Yes, 'warming up' matters. The core mechanic is you have to match the 'tolerance zone'. And there is no trait allowing to ignore that. Numerous traits may increase her tolerance x2-3, but it won't be infinite. So I see nothing wrong on your screenshot: you're doing her on auto, 2 frictions per second, that is actually annoying and painful.
It's pretty easy once you find your way. Note that dildos are the most difficult to master (at least in manual mode), have you tried any other toys instead?