Ok, I see the problem. I just hope you’ll read this carefully and understand what I mean, because a lot of time was invested into writing.
First of all, let’s focus on the concept of speed. This game is different from flash-like games, where you simply run animations one-by-one. To speed up the routine these games offer to run it on x2-5 speed. Instead changing the speed in MyJLC is not a simple timeskip, but actual change in real time. So when I said ‘2 frictions/second’ on your screenshot it means exactly what I said.
The next important thing is that this game looks simple, however under the hood it has a math model and rather complicated system of evaluating the player's actions. Everything is based on real life logic, including mechanics, traits and their effects. And all of these were tested for a long time to be played smoothly, to match the same logic and not to be a game breaker.
Now let’s run an imaginary experiment: let’s take an abstract human and a dildo 3-5 cm (1-2”) thick, and start to ass-pound them 2 strokes/second on full depth, without any lube or prep-stretching. Even if we talk about masochistic yandere anal-lover, it doesn’t mean that overcoming unbearable pain should make them happy. In real life tolerating does not mean that the person likes it – everything has its limits.
Now let’s get back to the game. It’s a sex simulator. And (contrary to what you see in porn usually) real sex is about mutual respect and the desire to please each other. The game is designed this way to stimulate players to explore sexuality (their own and partner's) using various tools and to create their own strategy to succeed in the challenging conditions. Conditions are the traits. Strategy is a compromise between her and your desires in order to achieve mutual success.
Most traits have two sides to create a balance. For example, by choosing an ‘insensitive pussy’ one hand you initially get an increased tolerance for size and intensity, but she’ll receive less pleasure from it. Also, a good warm-up of the girl (up to 50%), lubing (natural or artificial) and gradual stretching remain mandatory. That is, first choose and use the toys she likes. Achieve some stable accumulation of excitement. Lube! Slowly insert a smaller toy (for example, a rabbit vibrator) to avoid annoyance. Start with shallow and gentle frictions, increasing only when her tolerance grows. Over time, you might move on to a thicker toy, repeating the algorithm. This way each zone you play with is well-prepared.
In your particular case I’d recommend trying with trait ‘patience’, maybe ‘yandere’ (it’s mostly about talking style, but provides a small tolerance buff as well), ‘insensitive pussy’ (as you prefer hard penetration) and something to gain extra excitement through it faster (e.g. ‘sensual breasts’ to use with light toys, or opposite for heavy vibrators).
I wish you all the best with it! Otherwise it might be just not your type of game.