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I think I remember reading that when the GJ bans rolled out. I recall the week before it came out. I was working on updating my No Porn Allowed and happened to be browsing GJ's site again. Looking around, I just got a sense their priorities had shifted. A week later I got that same email everyone else did. I was fucking crushed, ngl. I found a lot of inspiration on GameJolt. Much of it providing the motivation to take on my own weird, queer, and horny projects.

Also, I agree so much with that "I can't give up now". Shit has only gotten more scary and cruel. Another person in the comments mentioned how LLM generated art has people giving up in mass. I remember how hard my time as an artist was. Dealing with self-doubt, nasty comment, occasional harassment. It just makes me want to lift others up more than ever. I refuse to let the cruelty of the world stop me from creating art.

And, because organizing my thoughts well is hard, people are terrible at considering the strife of artist. Too many people be looking at us like vending machines. Then, you have lots of people the forget their struggles, or worse, use their strife to justify putting other down. This is especially common within game development (and software at large). "I struggled learning <NEBULOUS UNINTUITIVE TOOL> thus you must". Felienne Hermans has a great talk covering this, and I think it relates back to how gamers use the terms "asset flip" and "shovel-ware" to deride games. "Hard Is Good. Anything That Is Easy Is Bad. Making Hard Stuff Easy is Evil".

There is just so much more I could discuss. And, I'm glad you put this essay out. I've recently been playing through 50 Short Games. And, it's got me thinking about what game making means to me again.

(+1)

i really appreciate your comments here. it’s very validating to hear.

imo pornographic games are the original avant-garde in this space. there was a period way back where they where just starting to get seen fairly then that flipped. to me that indicated a bigger shift in culture that eventually impacted everyone… but i can’t speak to that. i was just observer not participant there.

i feel like it’s an awful period in tech right now (and games are not separate from that space) where fascism took it all over to drive it in that totalitarian direction. the way AI has been co-opted to be what it is now is a big glaring example. artists are fighting with that and it’s almost like a propaganda war where artists in all fields are made to feel disposable. making them think about quitting. a big enemy of fascism is art, and i feel like that’s why it’s so under fire rn.

i’m not sure how it will shake out but i just know that if an artist quits, techbro fascism wins ever so slightly, and that’s a sad loss for us all.