Positives:
- Nice sound design; the situational background music and sound effects really added to the mood and feeling on the story
- Very competent writing. Good motivation for the main character at the start, sufficient backstory, and the story flowed well and didn't overstay its welcome.
- Hand-drawn pictures also do well in immersing the player in the story
Potential improvements if you choose to continue working on it:
- Text formatting could lend to polish (i.e. different font sizes for headers, different styles when characters are speaking, perhaps even animating some text effects for emphasis)
- There were a few places in the text that sounded anachronistic like talking about "dumbass coworkers", "peanut butter jar", "chocolate cake", "friendly neighborhood cowboy", "first-degree homicide" (some of these visuals are hard to imagine in a wild west setting). Although these things are perfectly fine if you're aiming for more tongue-in-cheek humor